Travel and language — part 1 of 3

I’ve been watching – with a tinge of sadness – a series of lectures from an MIT linguistics course, which are available on YouTube. I say a tinge of sadness because 25 years ago it could have been me attending those lectures, if not at MIT then somewhere, but alas that’s not the path I went down. Now I know enough bits and bobs about linguistics to sound semi-knowledgeable in my lessons, but there’s so much I don’t know, having never formally studied it. At one point the impressively bearded professor apologises for being old: “You can tell I was born last century.” He taught the course last year, so I suppose all his students, or almost all of them, really were born this century. Yeesh. You can tell he’s in love with the subject in all its guises, and he can actually speak several relatively obscure languages. He interacts very well with the students, who are clearly much smarter than our bunch in Birmingham a quarter-century ago.

Long-haul travel, and spending a whole month in another country, gives you an almighty hit of linguistic phenomena. Ten years ago on my old blog, I wrote quite extensively about Kiwi pronunciation. I’m happy to report that all the traits I mentioned are still present, some of them in an even more exaggerated form. John Key’s “shtrong and stable” is now quite common; for people with this tendency, it affects words containing either of the strings /str/ or /stj/, for instance shtreet, shtupid, shtew, Aushtralia, or ashtute. If you quit smoking but then relapse, you might say that you’ve gone ashtray. I also noticed that a divide – young versus old, city versus country, sophisticated versus somewhat less cultivated – has opened up in the way Kiwis pronounce certain words, mostly those ending in the /ri/ combination.

How many syllables do these words have for you?

battery
broccoli
mandatory
necessary
pottery

For me they have 2, 3, 3, 4 and 3, respectively. But I betcha a hyper-online (and perhaps slightly woke, though I hate that term) 22-year-old student might want to replace his or her (or their?!) laptop bad-der-y, where I’d replace my batch-ree.

But the biggest linguistic phenomenon by far affecting New Zealand is the rise of Māori. If I went back there to live, I’d need to enrol on a Māori course toot-sweet, because my pronunciation would be hopelessly dated. (Dated is a word my parents love to use when browsing House & Garden.) Māori seems simple – it has a small inventory of only five vowel and ten consonant sounds – but what’s going on with combinations like ea or oa, as in Aotearoa? What do they morph into exactly, and why? (Those particular digraphs are a distinctive feature of Romanian, by the way.) Then what about au? Why is it Lake Toe-paw all of a sudden? I wonder if some of these “new” sounds are the result of phonetic changes – a vowel shift, if you will – just like what has happened with the consonant wh. The wh, as far as I can tell, is spelt that way because it was actually pronounced like the wh in wheat when it was first transcribed, but since then it has turned into an f sound. (Interestingly, the English wh has, at the same time, turned into a simple w sound for most speakers, though in some places like Scotland the old sound still proliferates. Mum’s mother used the old wh in words like white, but Mum uses the simple w.)

The increased use of the Māori language rubs a lot of people – especially older people like my parents – up the wrong way. They do have a bit of a point. At times it can actually impede communication. Writing Keep Left in Māori is downright dangerous for foreign tourists. (That raises an interesting question. Did the Māori have the concept of left and right? Not all cultures and languages do. Some don’t have the concept of relative direction at all, and you’d have to say Keep East if east happened to be on the left in that instance.) Sometimes it’s just older people not liking change, and I perfectly understand that, but often it’s part of a more general anti-Māori sentiment, which again I understand, and is starting to create a very unhelpful us-versus-them in New Zealand society.

I’ve often wondered why someone hasn’t invented a nice efficient Māori syllabary, a bit like hiragana in Japanese, in which each symbol represents a syllable. (Maybe somebody has.) You’d need 55 symbols: one for each of the 50 consonant+vowel combinations, plus one for each of the five vowels on their own. That’s just over twice what the English alphabet has, and a handful more than hiragana itself has, so it should be doable. I also think it would be quite cool. You could still use macrons (horizontal bars) to show long vowels, as you (increasingly) see in the standard Roman-alphabet version of Māori. Here’s my attempt at a start:

My choice of more angular shapes for ri and especially ki is deliberate. The i sound is a close vowel, and feels more angular than a, an open vowel.

Next time I’ll talk about some of the language phenomena I saw on the way to and from New Zealand, rather than when I was there.

More from my aunt, and a rocky time in Geraldine

A beautiful autumn day here, though the forecast 28 degrees is in fact a degree less than Mum and Dad’s unseasonably warm Wednesday. This afternoon I’ve got my appointment with the ENT specialist. Maybe he can crack the problem of my sinuses – so far nobody else has. I must remember to bring all my scans and reports and what have you. I’m over my cold now, so that’s something. Last night I saw the doctor who told me who to see to get the cyst removed from my back.

A pretty hefty earthquake shook Geraldine this morning (NZ time). It was a long, rolling shake that measured 6.0. My parents didn’t feel a thing because they were in a car. It was funny to see Geraldine plastered all over the front page of Stuff.

My aunt is going to get a course of chemo that (in my cousin’s words) won’t be too invasive and might give her another few months. In hospital she’s been on morphine and antibiotics for her crippling pain caused by an infection. She’s also gone cold turkey on booze and cigarettes – that can’t have been much fun. So Dad has booked a trip over there, leaving on 9th October and coming back five weeks later. I might even make a visit. Thankfully his itinerary won’t be as onerous as mine – no clapped-out trains, and instead a 16-hour leg (!) on an Emirates A380. My fun and games in the mysterious depths of Hungary would just about kill him. My cousin has been very good to my aunt while she’s been in hospital, but she’s never had much time for him – her interest ended when he was shipped off to boarding school at the age of eight (!?).

Here’s an interesting YouTube video by a bloke called Noel Philips, who quit his IT job to travel and make videos about travelling, mostly on unusual routes and older planes. He even has a private pilot’s licence. In this video, he was daring enough to fly on an Indonesian airline with a one-star safety rating, out of a maximum of seven. Fascinating to watch – the airports reminded me of travelling through Indonesia as a kid.

I still don’t really know what’s happening with my central heating.

Update: I saw the ENT guy. When I entered his clinic, I saw my name hand-written in his big book, with the number 969 alongside it. He was happy to do everything in English. Normally I hate that, but when it’s my health I’m fine with it. His English was very good, apart from the time he pushed probes up both my nostrils and told me it wasn’t painy. Sorry, but it bloody is painy. He said that surgery won’t do me any good, then asked me to take an allergy test (the last time I got tested for allergies was in 2017) before taking a spray twice a day and a pill only in the evening. I’ll have to take these drugs for two months, then after seeing him again I might end up taking them for life. So that’s where I am with that.

New Zealand: I like what I see

Sadly it’s all coming to an abrupt end. Dad’s got his Google gadget gizmo playing sixties music (they’ve turned the TV off – will wonders never cease?), and appropriately the deceptively complex Here Comes the Sun is playing as I write this. Spring has sprung; I’m seeing the daffodils coming out for the second time this year. Today it hit 19 degrees here, and at 1pm one of the famous nor’westers whipped through. Now we’ve got the Beach Boys – Surfin’ USA.

My brother called us this evening, just after we’d finished our chicken and vegetable pie. My nephew – nine days shy of his first birthday – was in a happy mood, as he is pretty much always. He’s a lovely little boy, it must be said. I’ve hardly ever seen him cry. He’s benefited hugely from all the time his parents have spent with him. My sister-in-law goes back to work soon – she’d rather not have to.

This afternoon Mum took me over to my aunt and uncle in Woodbury. It looks like they might pull the plug on their rhododendron nursery. I’m amazed they’ve kept it going for so long. We were there for two hours, most of which were taken up by gossip about various local no-hopers (quoting verbatim here) getting handouts they obviously don’t deserve. Before that, I got some life admin done involving phone calls to RaboBank (I had a high three-figure amount in an account that they’d closed) and the IRD, while Mum and Dad were getting haircuts and doing the laundry in Temuka, and sorting out a new kitchen in Washdyke. I also watched an incredible women’s doubles match at the US Open. At the end of a topsy-turvy third set, the American pairing of Taylor Townsend and Leylah Fernandez raced to a 7-2 lead in the first-to-ten tie-break before Gaby Dabrowski and Erin Routliffe won 10-8. I didn’t know at the time that Routliffe played for New Zealand. I also saw Sorana Cîrstea’s quarter-final with Karolina Muchova. The Czech had too much for the Romanian, who had done extremely well to get that far. There was one crazy game in the middle of the first set – it went ten deuces, and Cîrstea had nine break points – which could have sent the match on a different path had it gone the Romanian’s way.

Yesterday both Mum and I visited the IRD in Timaru. She’d been faffing around for many angst-ridden hours on the IRD site using her four-inch phone, and I also had a problem to resolve with non-resident tax, so I persuaded her to actually visit the office which is located just off the main street of Timaru and open 5½ hours a day, three days a week. Nowhere near enough. We arrived before it opened and were first in the queue. The two women we dealt with at the desk were very pleasant, although Mum was still effing and blinding because she had to pay provisional tax.

When we got back from Timaru I had a sudden urge to clear the cobwebs. Too much sitting around, either in a car, or worse, in my parents’ living room. So I took Dad’s rather good bike out and went all the way to the huts at Milford, 24 km away, and obviously all the way back. I’d packed a flask of tea. On those last few kilometres I was saddle-sore and ravenous. Mum was visibly concerned by the time I got back.

After a month in this neck of the woods, I like what I’ve seen. Could I move back here to live? Probably, yes, if I could somehow keep teaching and find a suitable place. It would need to be out of curtain-twitching range. As beautiful as Waikouaiti is, I’d find it hard to hide there. Dunedin would suit me I think, but could I afford it? These are things to consider in the medium term.

It’ll be a sad moment tomorrow as my parents drop me off at the Jucy Snooze place next to the airport where I’ll doss down for a few hours before my 6am flight – an early start to a long ordeal. Saying goodbye to Mum is the hardest. With Dad he’s still sort of there on the end of an email or a video chat. Without being able to hug Mum and smell her perfume – the same one she’s worn since I was a kid, at least – it’s really not the same.

I didn’t immediately parse this name correctly. Mr and Mrs Duzu? Doesn’t sound Scottish or Irish. Ah, does us.

West Coast trip — part 4 of 4

On the first day of spring we caught some more of the US Open before making our way from Alexandra to my parents’ second home in Moeraki. The Pig Root was almost free of traffic. I was hoping we could have stopped in the lovely village of Ophir – rhyming with loafer and gopher and chauffeur – but no such luck as Mum was driving. We did pass through Ophir at least, and I managed to take one fuzzy picture out of the moving car. I could even have dropped in on my friend in Naseby again, but my parents were keen to press on. I spotted several ex-schools, underlining the great importance placed on education in the late 19th century, even in the most remote parts. Teaching was a highly valued profession. That was then, this is now. We reached Moeraki in what felt like no time.

Ophir

Back on to the US Open. This year it’s on normal TV – a channel called Duke – and that’s allowed Mum to get right into it. She’s been filling out drawsheets as I used to do. The coverage on Duke is aggravating – they flit between matches at the most inopportune times, and sometimes give you a split screen showing two matches at once and you can’t properly see either of them. We went for a walk along the beach when the tennis was over, then finished off the previous night’s curry with some extra rice while watching TV. Again. Endless bloody TV. The Repair Shop – a British programme where members of the public get items of great sentimental value restored – is actually worth watching. This time there was an old Singer sewing machine, an extremely valuable painting of Henrietta mourning her husband Charles I after his execution, and a yellow submarine toy from the Beatles film. As the submarine was beautifully restored, Dad and I talked paint colours. All the veridians and sap greens and leaf greens and cadmium yellows and burnt siennas. Dad was a great user of burnt sienna early in his career when rust and abandonment were his big thing. After the Repair Shop was a fly-on-the-wall documentary about life on a cruise ship – my idea of hell. Passengers on the ship were called sailors – ugh.

The next morning was foggy – good weather for watching tennis. In the early afternoon, the match Mum had been looking forward to – the all-Serbian third-round battle between Djokovic and Djere – finally got under way. Djere djumped all over a subdjued Djokovic in the first two sets, but he ran out of djuice and Djokovic got the djob done in five sets. Not exactly plain sailing. While that match was on, the 33-year-old Romanian Sorana Cîrstea completed a gutsy three-set win over fourth-seeded Elena Rybakina. She has won again today, beating Belinda Bencic in straight sets, to make the last eight. The plan had been to go back to Geraldine after the Djokovic match, but because it went so long, Mum and Dad decided to stay a second night in Moeraki rather than drive back in the dark. I didn’t mind that – Mum is more relaxed in Moeraki than at home. We picked up fish (elephant fish) and chips from the very popular tavern in Hampden. More goes on in Hampden, where people actually live, than in Moeraki where most homes are holiday homes.

My parents’ place in Moeraki up above, with the neighbours’ yurt-like structure down below

We played another game of Skip-Bo. I won, making the overall scores 4-4-4. That night when I was awake in bed, I attempted some discrete probability problems in my head. Dad had failed to win any of the last six games. A particular player failing to win six straight games has a probability of just under 9%, assuming all players have an equal chance in each game. That was straightforward. The chance that twelve games would split 4-4-4? When you don’t even have pen and paper at your disposal, that’s much harder to work out. I needed the 12th row of Pascal’s Triangle to even make a start. In the end I came up with a figure of a little under 7%, which felt about right. These after-the-fact probability calculations are a bit weird because the chance that something notable happens is always a lot higher. This can have serious real-life implications when determining, for instance, the severity of a flood. When you hear “one in 50 years”, be skeptical. They tend to look at how much rain fell in the wettest 5 minutes, then the wettest 15 minutes, then half an hour, an hour, 3 hours, 6 hours, and so on. Each of these figures is compared to historical records, then they take whatever of those time periods gives the highest one-in-x value. That’s how you get one-in-50-year floods every other month. Climate change isn’t exactly helping there either.

Yesterday we visited my aunt in Timaru – back on the other side of the 45th parallel – on the way back from Moeraki. We’d covered 1300 km on our circuit around the coast and up and down the passes. It was a good trip, helped hugely by the weather and lack of tourists. When we were back in Geraldine, my cousin dropped by with her daughter – they’d been skiing at Fox Peak. My time in New Zealand is rapidly coming to a close.

West Coast trip — part 3 of 4

On Thursday – the last day of winter – I woke from a strange dream involving Dad and balls and a geolocation game. Mum had hardly slept; she wasn’t feeling good. Her ongoing neck pain and fatigue don’t help her mood. She really should see the doctor. We left the motel at the sprightly hour of 8:10. Our first stop (with Dad driving, we make lots of stops) was at Bruce Bay – the sea was dead calm and the tide was in. After that we stopped at Knights Point where there was a monument to the Haast–Otago road which Keith Holyoake officially opened in 1965. We soon reached Ship Creek which I’d been up several times before. Whenever we opened the door, we were ambushed by sandflies.

We crossed the Haast River and went over the Gates of Haast Bridge where there were huge rocks in a waterfall. Next came another waterfall – the well-named Fantail Falls – and then we stopped at the Blue Pools and that’s when things got weird. Mum was feeling crabby, so she stayed in the car while Dad and I walked to the pools. They weren’t the azure we hoped for, and in fact the suspension bridge over the shallow river was closed. Back in the car half an hour later, and Mum woke up not knowing what country she was in. She was out of it.

Blue Pools

We had lunch at Makarora, at the north end of Lake Wanaka, where there was yet another waterfall. State Highway 6 then split off between Lake Wanaka and Hawea, and we passed numerous vineyards and orchards that had propellers that keep the air circulating and prevent the cold air reaching the ground at night. We then reached the man-made Lake Dunstan, where the weeping willows were already coming out – spring happens early in New Zealand, it seems – and crossed the 45th parallel which I live not too far from, only on the other side of the equator. A bike track followed the shore of Lake Dunstan – it got fair bit of use, and seemed to be taking over from the famous Rail Trail. During the gold rush, Chinese miners lived in huts – caves, really – built into the rocks around the lake. Imagine living there.

Next stop was Cromwell, a beneficiary/victim of a huge amount of recent development. Much of the old town of Cromwell had been flooded after the Clyde Dam was built in the 1980s, creating Lake Dunstan. Some of the old buildings were saved or rebuilt, to create a so-called Heritage Precinct. From Cromwell we drove the short distance to Clyde, which had been tarted up too much for me. You can keep your $6 single-scoop boutique ice creams. Clyde had become a hub for the bike trail, selling plenty of high-end electric bikes.

Clyde

Alexandra

We made good time in spite of Dad’s propensity to stop every five minutes to find a painterly view, and we soon arrived in Alexandra and motel number three. Thankfully, Mum had perked up by then, but not enough to enter a takeaway restaurant. They seem to give her hives. Dad and I went to the Indian down the road – the price had shot up from the time the menu in the guest information brochure had been printed. We smooshed our lamb madrases and chicken tikka masalas together, and saved half for the following night. There was a separate bedroom from which I gave my lesson – my student spent most of the time despairing over her son Alexandru, near-namesake of where I happened to be.

That night we saw the super blue moon – the second full moon in a calendar month, and larger than normal. Far from the largest I’ve seen, though. When I was twelve my grandparents took us to a Christmas pantomime in Cambridge. Was it Robin Hood? I can’t remember. But I remember the colossal full moon, low on the horizon, that was saw on the way back. If I ask my brother about it, he’ll surely remember it too.

West Coast trip — part 2 of 4

We woke up early on Wednesday morning and had a breakfast of sorts. We were out of proper coffee, so Mum made flasks of instant coffee even though she hates the stuff. When a small dog visited our motel room that morning, I could see why so many people prefer dogs to other people. We made our way down the ribbon-like West Coast. The leaves of straight-trunked rimu trees hung down, and other trees and bushes were sculpted by the wind – it was a rugged and at times sinister world that felt a long way from the East. Moving to the West Coast wouldn’t be easy – no matter how long you’d been there, you’d never be one of them. Saying that, look at what I did seven years ago. Again we were lucky with the weather. We stopped for our instant coffee at lovely Lake Mahinapua with the reflection of the mountains in the water, then at Lake Ianthe. This was all uncharted territory for me – though I’d been to the West Coast before, I’d never been south of Hokitika. We hopped from one DOC site to the next, remarking at how great an asset all these sites are to the country.

Lake Mahinapua

We arrived at Fox Glacier, the day’s destination, in mid-afternoon. During my brother’s New Zealand interlude in 2012-13, he was based there. He took people up for tandem parachute jumps. A couple of years earlier, on the day of the first major Christchurch earthquake, a parachuting plane crashed, killing all nine people on board. The aftermath of the crash was a controversial mess; evidence was literally buried. While Dad dozed in the car, Mum and I walked to the Fox Glacier lookout point – not a short trek anymore because the glacier has retreated so much. Later in the day we had another longish walk to Lake Matheson, which is situated a short distance from the glacier. Matheson is famous for its photo opportunity – a perfect reflection – but the best of the day’s weather had gone and the water was choppy. The walk around Matheson was peppered by rimu and totara trees. There were also lancewoods that evolved in an interesting way. During the time of the moa, lancewoods developed bone-like spiky structures until they grew nine feet tall, so their leaves above that height would be out of the moa’s range.

We arrived at our motel room in Fox to a rare and spectacular 180-degree rainbow. The room was much more spacious and comfortable than the one at Greymouth, but after a lovely day – albeit one in which I struggled with my sinuses – things turned sour in the evening. Booking motel rooms – one night at a time, each taking hours – had become a very stressful pursuit for Mum. It didn’t help that I’d thrown a spanner into the works by scheduling a two-hour lesson for the following evening, but Mum was unreasonably angry at everything and everybody. I found a place in Alexandra on Agoda instead of the usual booking.com, and to my great relief I convinced her to book it. We played Skip-Bo yet again. It was a long game: cards didn’t move easily from our stacks. Mum built up a useful lead but I kept coming back until we both needed to shift just one card to win. Mum pipped me – phew – and drew even with Dad at four games apiece; I remained one behind.

West Coast trip — part 1 of 4

On Monday night Mum and Dad went to Geraldine’s most famous restaurant with some ex-neighbours. I had my Romanian lesson so I stayed at my parents’ place and saved them over $30. (They’re paying for everything while I’m here. There’s no point trying to change that.) In our lesson we covered serious and heavy subjects like last week’s LPG plant explosion near Bucharest – it killed three and injured dozens – and what happens to homeless people when they are discharged from hospital. My brother, still in crutches following his knee operation, called later that evening. Then the next morning we were off to the West Coast.

After briefly catching some action from day one of the US Open, we set off at nine on the inland route. It was a glorious day; the sunny weather would follow us for most of the trip. There was remarkably little traffic. Mum and Dad shared the driving – there was no chance of me getting behind the wheel. Springfield, at the foot of the Arthur’s Pass, seemed to have lost its Simpsons doughnut since I last went over the pass in 2009. We passed Lake Lyndon, then the Castle Hill Range. We then stopped at Lake Pearson which was gin clear. Maybe my brother and I swam there 37 years ago. An Emirates A380, minutes away from landing at Christchurch, was flying low overhead. Unbelievably for somewhere so beautiful, nobody else was there. In the UK, a spot like that would be rammed and it would cost you a fiver just to park your car. In Romania, it would be rather less crowded, but there’d be rubbish everywhere including at least one mattress and maybe a fridge. On a late winter’s day in New Zealand, however, it was pristine and deserted.

At Arthur’s Pass village – strangely the only placename in the whole country not to have been stripped of its apostrophe – we saw a group of very tame keas, or maybe kea’s, ready to wrench off our wing mirrors. (Outside the village you’ll have a hard time spotting one of those native parrots. And I know, the plural should just be kea.)

Once we’d gone through Otira and had made it over the pass, the landscape changed markedly. There were far fewer pine trees and more natives, such as the punga. We were greeted by wild goats on the roadside, reminding me of my adopted home, and a solitary weka. We were too early to check in to our motel at Paroa, which is basically a suburb of Greymouth, so we went down the coast a little way first, taking advantage of the sunshine. I’d almost forgotten what a Kiwi tradition these motels are. All those weird and wacky Aaltons and Aamiras vying for prime position in the phone book. I have fond memories of Mum buttering our toast with a toothbrush in a knifeless motel in Hamilton which featured bunk beds. I’m sure we were too stingy to stay at any of the (many) places that boasted waterbeds. Our motel this time was very cramped. Mum somehow put together a meal of sausages, beans and spuds, then we played two games of Skip-Bo on one of the beds. Mum and I each won one, cutting Dad’s lead to 4-3-3.

Off to the Coast

The builders and electricians are hard at work. They’re listening to a classic hits station, and I’ve just been reminded that there’s nothing like a Crown – for picking it up and putting it down. As I write this, they’re playing Blind Melon’s No Rain. Mum and Dad’s plan is to head to the West Coast tomorrow. They’ve had the map out so they can decide on what route Mum wants to take. I’ll just go with whatever. (Next year Mum and Dad plan to visit Romania. We’ll probably go on some kind of road trip. Just imagine if I arranged the whole thing, with accommodation for four or five nights, without asking Mum if she’d like to do this or if that would be too far.)

Because the weather looked dicey yesterday morning, Dad didn’t attempt to fly his plane. With the flying a no-go and Mum at church, Dad and I went for a walk at the wonderfully named Pekapeka Gully. I drove an electric car for the first time – I was behind the wheel for all of three minutes. On Saturday Mum saw the Barbie movie at Geraldine Cinema with some friends from church or golf or both. Dad and I nearly went too, but we stayed at home and watched Dune, a film based on Frank Herbert’s science fiction novel. I think Mum had recorded it. We expected it to be a modern version, but it was from 1984 and it showed. A youngish Sting was among the cast. It was hard to make head or tail of, and Dad said it bore little resemblance to the book. Unlike me, he’d actually read it. Just before Mum got back from Barbie, my brother rang, and we saw the little one who is already not so little. My brother asked when my parents would be coming to the UK, and he asked again when Mum called him back after she returned from the cinema.

Dad had been trying to find his record collection. He said it was buried somewhere in the spare room, beneath cushions and boxes of mason jars and, well, paintings. When my parents were out I rooted around in there and found it. He doesn’t have a big collection – perhaps two dozen records in a single box. I was surprised he had so much classical music. He told me he had Paul McCartney’s Ram but he must have misremembered. He had Wings’ greatest hits plus the Beatles’ Please Please Me and Abbey Road. He put on Abbey Road but his record player needs fixing – it only has one working speaker.

I finally finished my book yesterday – Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez. It was one of the books the previous owner of my flat had left behind. (I doubt I’d have chosen something with Love in the title otherwise.) Some books are so absorbing that you can glide from one page to the next, even if there’s background noise like the TV or building work. This one is firmly in the other category. Extremely well written, but so much complexity of plot (often fantastical) and language. It was translated from Spanish, after all. As soon as you see the past perfect (and there was a lot of past perfect in this book), you know the going will be tough.

On Sunday mornings Radio NZ has a segment named Calling Home, where a New Zealander who has moved overseas calls in to the programme. Calls home. Recently somebody called in from Uganda. Mum suggested that I write in, but I’m not a born and bred Kiwi, and New Zealand isn’t quite home. Nowhere is, really – Timișoara is the closest thing I have. In the film Miracle Club, Daniel, the boy who didn’t speak, finally said one word – home – when he returned from Lourdes. It’s one of the most powerful words in the English language. The sound of it – the long O, a diphthong, before the satisfying ‘m’ sound – makes it especially evocative. To lack a home, a base, a rock, certainly can’t help one’s mental health.

The Skip-Bo scores are now 4-2-2.

Milford Lagoon on Saturday

Three kererū, or native New Zealand wood pigeons, in my parents’ plum tree yesterday

Perfect weather, and trips into the past

It’s another beautiful day – mid to high teens, without a cloud in the sky. I can have no complaints about the weather since I arrived here. I’ve been getting a load of extra sleep – I’m sure I have the more benign temperatures to thank for that; my much reduced screen time must be a big help too.

This afternoon we went to the cemetery in Temuka – the fifth cemetery I’ve been to so far on this trip – where many members of Mum’s family are buried. She put flowers on her parents’ grave, and then she searched for her other relatives. Her aunt Rene, who died in 2000, was famous for her extremely tall sponge cakes which I remember well. There was also her uncle William, known as Wormy Bill. Finally she found her great-grandfather who arrived on the boat from Ireland at the age of 50, in 1874. In the meantime I saw surnames of classmates and teachers I remembered from my (short, hard) time at the local school. Unlike what you see in the UK (and Romania, for that matter), modern New Zealand gravestones often provide information beyond dates of birth and death. You’ll see an engraved trout perhaps, or a handsaw. One lady had clearly won Lotto: the six coloured balls appeared above her name. You could see the changing styles of the different stonemasons over time, as well as the transition to machine engraving in about 2000. From the cemetery we went to Milford Lagoon – the mouth of the Opihi River – where people have huts (some live there permanently) and Dad used to catch brown trout.

Yesterday – another fantastic day – we went to Tekapo. I hadn’t been there for 15-plus years. The drive there is lovely, and the lake and surrounding mountains are as picturesque as ever, but Tekapo (which was a slice of paradise when I first saw it as a kid) is gradually morphing into a full-on resort like Queenstown or Wanaka. Somewhere to avoid, in other words. Busloads of Asian tourists had arrived there, and it was as if they’d landed on the moon. The small church, devoid of people as I remember it, now had queues. From Tekapo we drove to Lake Alexandrina. My late uncle had a bach there – he’d pretty much built it – and 30 years ago (probably to the day, just about) I stayed there with Mum and Dad while my brother stayed at our other uncle’s farm on the West Coast. My uncle sadly lost the bach after his second divorce.

After we got home, we went to my uncle and aunt’s place in Woodbury – they’re the ones who had the farm on the West Coast until 1996 – and had a big slap-up meal of roast beef and plenty of vegetables, followed by lemon meringue pie. With all the crisps and nuts and crackers beforehand, it was a veritable feast.

On Thursday I played tennis with Mum for the first time in absolutely ages. The brand spanking new courts, also used for netball, are just around the corner from here. We played for a very enjoyable hour and a quarter. She can still move around the court impressively, although her backhand isn’t quite what it was, and her loss of muscle mass means she’s lost some power. Balls don’t bounce very high on the astro surface – points are shorter on average than on the concrete I normally play on. While we were playing, we tried to remember the names of some of the players at the club in England. Was it Barbara? No, Brenda. I hope we can play once or twice more before I go back to Romania.

I forgot to mention in my recent posts that one of the flyers at Dad’s club is illiterate. Seriously, he makes and flies model planes, and works as a car mechanic, without being able to read or write. I mentioned him in my Romanian lesson on Tuesday and they were amazed.

Last week was quite a big one for news, with the Wagner leader Yegveny Prigozhin killed in that plane crash. Donald Trump’s mugshot will go into the annals of history – and he’s already trying to use it to his advantage. And India became the fourth country to land on the moon.

The Skip-Bo scores are now 4-1-1, with Dad the big winner so far. The probability of one specific player winning four games (or more) out of six is almost exactly 10%, assuming all players have an equal chance in each game. That assumption might not hold here – Mum’s competitive edge surely boosts her chances, making Dad’s four wins even more of an outlier.

Mt Dobson, scene of my first attempt at skiing in 1993

Much busier than it used to be

A perfect reflection

There’s something quintessentially Kiwi about this one

Let’s talk about money

As a boy I was often blown away by how casually my parents talked about sums in the thousands. “A thousand to you is worth a normal pound to me!” I remember saying. Now I’m in my forties and I’ve come a long way: two of those three zeros have been wiped out – there’s just a ten-to-one relationship between my parents’ financial world and mine. Their financial position hasn’t really sunk in to them. When Mum complained that politicians give handouts to both the rich and the poor and don’t care about those in the middle – like them – I just about spat out my tea. Just yesterday, Dad began a sentence with “If I was a millionaire”. Had he suddenly switched to the Kuwaiti dinar, worth NZ$5.42 or £2.55? I wonder how much their vast wealth – let’s be frank – has been a demotivator to me, or at least a motivator to think, bugger this and exit the world of real estate offices on every corner. It’s also been a source of some upset for my brother. Mum and Dad are seriously giving the cost of flights as a reason not to see their grandson? Gimme a break. They could easily fly business class. (Seriously, how many more return trips to the UK will they make? Four or so? It would be worthwhile use of their money.)

Mum and Dad don’t agree on everything, but when it comes to their finances they’re a team, steadfast in defence. Five-nil up with five minutes to go, the gleaming silverware long since secured, still keen to score another goal if the chance presents itself, but desperate not to concede. Their renovation has cut out a lot of their cooking facilities and made dinnertime a stressful part of the day. Mum is a good cook and rustles up something tasty every night, but there’s always tension in the air. (Dad said he’d like to help but she won’t let him.) I suggested that twice a week they should eat out or get takeaways, just to lighten the load during the renovation. Eighty bucks a week for the two of them; it would surely be worth it. They thought I was mad. There aren’t many restaurants in Geraldine, they said, and the cost! Since I arrived 17 days ago, we’ve had two takeaways – sausage and chips on the day I arrived, and fish and chips from Palmerston – and had two coffees out, including at Mitre 10 in Timaru yesterday.

A lot of their frugality has rubbed off on me. My brother and I were hardly spoilt as kids, with the exception of travel, although even that was mostly on the cheap. We had little “stuff”, and basically no expensive stuff, but never felt deprived. Big-brand clothes and shoes were unthinkable. Even at ten, I knew that £60 Nike or Reebok trainers were a huge waste of money, and didn’t demand them. Between 24 and 28 I got regular pay rises and spent a bit more freely, but when my career soon went rapidly south and I took out a mortgage I tightened my belt considerably. I find proper eating out – at actual restaurants – quite stressful and tend to avoid it. It can take ages to get served – especially in Romania – and there’s the whole issue of tipping (I’m ideologically opposed to the concept) which, alarmingly, is starting to become a thing even in New Zealand. When I lived in Wellington there was a huge choice of “semi-restaurants” – Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese – that served yummy, inexpensive food in a virtually stress-free environment. I miss those. But if I had my parents’ riches, hopefully I’d check out those real restaurants a little more often.

The racecourse between Geraldine and Orari

An alpaca farm. It reminds me of the British band Llama Farmers, who were around in about 2000.

Maybe 20% of the Resene test pot selection at Mitre 10. In Romania, I had a choice of two yellows. Paint is much cheaper over there.

Pop in – one of those pesky phrasal verbs that I teach my students

Mum said she won a mixed doubles golf tournament with the owner of this place. Her partner’s ability to play proper golf in his garden must have given him a distinct advantage.

Red rhododendrons are everywhere at the moment