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A low ebb

December 19, 2022 by 0 Comments

At about the time I wrote my last post, my nephew was in hospital. He was having trouble breathing and his oxygen saturation was down, so he spent the night there. He now appears to be fine, but it was a scary day or two. At that age, things can go so wrong so fast. This incident made me wonder if having kids is even worth it. From day one to day 10,000 or 15,000 or if you’re really (un)lucky 20,000, they’re a source of constant worry. How do you sleep at night? There’s gotta be some, I dunno, benefits to counteract the neverending stress.

Last week was probably my worst, from a mental health perspective, since I washed up in Romania way back when. Loads of lessons despite some last-minute cancellations, and those I coped with even if I sometimes got drenched on the way to them. But I’ve also had the builder here to help sort out my bathroom and at the same time throw everything out of balance, and I’ve just been, well, low. Those books, what’s the point exactly if (as is very likely) they never get published and hardly anyone reads them? Yet another exercise in futility, as if I haven’t had enough of those already. And of course I’m stuck here on my own, getting older, seeing my parents get older, wondering if and when I’ll need to go back to New Zealand and how on earth I’ll afford to live in a place where the average house costs a million dollars.

Yes, the bathroom. Last week the builder, a heavy smoker in his late forties, spent four days here gutting everything and making a start on the tiles. The builder’s name is Dan, and he’s back again today. The plumber, who should be coming on Wednesday, is Bogdan. So just like Dan, but he has to deal with the bog. Nominative determinism in action. It would have been easy if I could have just left Dan to his own devices but at times I’ve had to make decisions. Friday was a bit fraught. In a gap between lessons I went with him in his van, first to the tip, then to Dedeman where we spent well over an hour. That place, where everything is orange and blue, reminding me of Uncle Ben’s sauce, is disorienting at the best of times. In places like that I freeze, or even worse I concentrate on all the wrong things, like why it is that Romanians call the middle traffic light galben, or yellow, when they’re clearly orange. Is it because portocaliu, the Romanian word for orange, has too many syllables? (Officially in the UK, the middle light is amber, but nobody actually calls it that unless they’re trying especially hard to be an annoying twat. In the New Zealand road code – I’ve just had a look – it’s officially yellow even though everyone in NZ surely calls it orange. I see that Toby Manhire, writing about the Covid traffic light system, is no fan of the yellow designation.)

Back to Dedeman. I first had to choose some floor and ceiling tiles without pissing Dan off too much. Which browny grey or bluey grey or whitey grey do I choose? Shiny or semi-shiny or non-shiny? I almost thought, sod it, I’ll get the one with the bright pink fish. Then I chose a loo and a sink and a cupboard and so on and so forth. We made several stops as Dan got his quarter-tonne of cement and gypsum board and many other bits and pieces. I got so lost in there. “Get the trolley and bring it back to me,” he said. But, but, that’s like eight aisles away and I wasn’t paying attention. Back home, we had to haul the vast bags of cement up the stairs to my flat. I managed, but struggled to keep up with the smoker half-a-dozen years older than me.

I spoke to my brother last night. His wife’s family really go to town with Christmas activities, and he seemed almost envious of the non-Christmas I’ll end up having. He was grateful for the lockdown two years ago. We talked about our aunt who seemed pretty good on the phone when I spoke to her last week. But physically she’s a mess; my brother doesn’t think she’ll be around much longer. We discussed, of all things, the new notes and coins with King Charles’s portrait. He said that monarchs alternate the direction they look in, so Elizabeth faces right while Charles will face left (I knew that), and that queens wear crowns but kings don’t (I didn’t know that). Soon this will all be moot – cash is rapidly disappearing from Britain.

The deadliest and stupidest football World Cup ever is over. The football – none of which I watched – was a roaring success, as it was always going to be. Yesterday’s final surely ranks as one of the greatest games of all time, but why can’t they damn well decide it properly? (Five of the knockout matches, or about a third, went to penalties at this World Cup.) “Nobody has come up with a better way” is such a lazy argument. There are no end of better options. My favourite is to gradually remove players from each side after 120 minutes until someone scores. With all that space, someone is bound to. I’m aware here that I’m over 40 and younger people think shoot-outs are “sick” or whatever, so they’re unlikely to go away any time soon. By the way, I only maintained a vague interest in the World Cup (go Morocco!) because of the boys I teach, many of whom had never seen a normal World Cup before. For them, this is normal.

Life :) - Tennis

Thirty days hath December

December 12, 2022 by 0 Comments

I miss my old place. This morning is a good example of why. Until I started my lesson at eight, I didn’t even notice it was snowing. Last December I was surrounded by parks and trees and the clatter of trams and Christmas lights and strange blokes dressed up as goats, but now the outside is sadly much more ignorable. As I type this I can see a tree.

If there’s one day I’d happily scratch from the calendar, it would be New Year’s Eve. It’s just far too social for someone as asocial as me. In Romania it’s particularly bad because people don’t call it a day (or a year) soon after midnight. Oh no, they power right through till four or something ridiculous, so the whole monstrous thing might last eight hours. Imagine being stuck at an airport for eight hours. It happens. In fact it happened a lot in Europe this past summer. But picture this: at regular intervals during your ordeal at Gate 29, to avoid being bumped off the flight, you’re required to talk to one of your fellow passengers. Someone you don’t know from Adam. What’s more, every third time you say something, you must make that other person laugh. After first grabbing an alcoholic drink, obviously. You must also laugh every third time the other person says something, no matter whether you think it’s funny, because you know he or she will be kicked off the flight if you fail to do so. There’s a mutual understanding. Then, at the five-hour point, you’re suddenly obliged to dance with your fellow travellers. Imagine that! Fail to tango with these complete strangers and you might as well be carrying explosives. At New Year, millions of people choose to do something pretty similar to what I’ve described. They’re obviously barking mad. Off their rockers, the lot of them. Recently someone from tennis invited me to a New Year thing at a restaurant not far from where I live. Oh god. It costs 300 lei. (Pay extra for the privilege of being stuck at an airport for eight hours and having to make jokes with other passengers. Utter insanity.) I ummed and ahhed for a few days and then said yes because I didn’t want people to hate me. There will be food, that’s something. And maybe they’ll let me off if I duck out at around two. He’s not from here, he does things differently. I can always play that card, the joker up my sleeve.

I’m tired all the bloody time. I look back at early 2018 when I had a two-month spell without a single day off. Nearly five years on it’s all much more of a struggle. Getting to lessons from my new place takes longer, but it’s the regular headaches that really wear me out. I also changed my antidepressant recently – I was forced to – and who knows what that might have done. It’s hard to know what’s what. Last week I visited my doctor who gave me some pills for my high liver enzyme levels. Why they’re high I have no idea; I drink copious water, I hardly ever have fizzy drink, and as for alcohol I average something like two drinks a week – I work late every evening from Monday to Friday, and the last thing I want at 10pm is a beer. These pills contain silymarin, which is a flowering plant, and cynarin, which is extracted from artichokes. I’m also taking vitamin D again.

Tennis is over for at least another three months. I didn’t particularly enjoy my last session of the season. The woman on the other side shouted “yes!” every time we made a mistake (cut that shit out, seriously) and her partner was an explosive player who had all the right gear (an expensive Babolat racket, obviously) and seemed ever so slightly dickish.

This is shaping up to be a really busy week. I hope I can stay awake for it.

Books - Family - Language teaching - Life :) - Photos

Winter is upon us once more

December 2, 2022 by 0 Comments

… but right now it’s pretty benign. I’ve just been to watch the parade for Romania’s national day. This time it was outside the cathedral, and from where I stood I looked directly up at the windows of my old apartment. In the past the parade took place outside the Timiș council building, and last year we all congregated in Central Park as the tanks, police cars and fire engines went by in the middle distance. They played the national anthem – one of only a handful in a minor key – and then there was a lot of hanging around as mostly inaudible sermon-like speeches were delivered before all the military vehicles and people in uniform drifted by, and two choppers flew overhead.

I’m now on day two of escitalopram after my vanilla citalopram ran out and all shipments had been halted. No side effects yet, touch wood. I got the results of the tests I had on Monday. My cholesterol is high as it’s always been, and some of my liver enzymes seem to be elevated – hopefully when I see my doctor next Tuesday he’ll tell me what that all means. I’ll also ask him to refer me to a specialist. I continue to be pleasantly surprised by my level of medical care in this country. I could see a doctor at the drop of a hat if I needed to, not like in the UK where I’d be waiting days. I’m baffled by how accepting the Brits are of their increasingly shitty reality. Maybe the easy availability of consumer goods makes them lose sight of the big picture.

I had my latest lesson with the four twins yesterday. They live in the west of the city, a half-hour bike ride away, beyond the road that’s being churned up to lay new tram tracks, and almost right next to the 1000-seater rugby stadium. Yes, rugby is played in Romania; the national side will play in next year’s World Cup. Romanians tend to pronounce “rugby” somewhere between ruby and ribby with no hint of a g, and I try to point them in a more native-sounding direction. The lesson went fine, although the younger boy sat out one of the games, saying he was bored. In the lesson with the single twins on Monday, we discussed what things are supposed to bring good luck in certain cultures, such as a horseshoe, a four-leaf clover, or a rabbit’s foot. We then went on to lucky colours and numbers. What numbers are lucky? The boy said, in all seriousness, 69, without seeming to realise what it meant. Where did you get that from?! “Toma from my class said so.” Tell Toma he’s wrong!

Mum and Dad are back home. Dad said he’d been looking forward to getting back, but felt flat the moment he actually did so. It’s funny how that can work. For him, it might have just been all the chores that they were suddenly confronted with. They told me about the woman they sat next to on the plane. She was Indian, in her fifties, and was clearly far out of her comfort zone. She squatted rather than sat, as if being on a chair was alien to her (perhaps it was in the town or village she came from) and spent the whole journey with a blanket over her head, never eating anything or even taking a sip of water. For ten hours. She had the aisle seat and couldn’t get that she had to move out of the way to let my parents sit down. She didn’t know a word of English. And for some reason she was flying to New Zealand. I found my parents’ account of her fascinating; there’s the basis for a whole novel right there.

The Glass Hotel is great. I’m coming to the end of it. She’s done her research, that’s for sure. I like all the references to shipping, They make me think I’m back in Devonport in 2008, at the height of the financial crisis (which is a major theme of the book). Late at night I’d watch the dockers, lit up like fireflies, from the window of my flat. I became a container spotter: P&O Nedlloyd, Maersk, Hamburg Süd, the occasional Matson. Each colossal container ship carried thousands of these huge boxes, many weighing 30-odd tons, and that made me feel pleasantly small.

Books - Family - Language teaching - Life :)

An agonising day

November 30, 2022 by 0 Comments

I’d just about got over my latest kidney stone business when Sunday happened. I woke up at about 5:30 with sinus pain, the sort that eats into the quality of my life without completely wrecking it. I got up just before eight. The pain in my left sinuses was still there, and getting more intense. By nine it had become unbearable. Sheer agony. I didn’t go to bed, because pacing up and down helps relieve the pain at least somewhat. Normally the excruciating pain lasts two hours, but what if it doesn’t this time? What if the torture lasts hours or days on end, what then? It did start to subside at eleven, and I went to bed until half-two. I couldn’t eat anything – it wouldn’t have stayed down. The rest of the day I was on a go-slow, and even two days later I feel devoid of energy. Yesterday I felt a strange calmness come over me, as if nothing in the outside world really mattered. No TV please, and no internet if I can help it. Do my lessons and don’t do much else.

Yesterday I had an early-morning lesson, then went to the doctor’s surgery for blood and urine tests. When I got back I made myself a late breakfast (because I had to fast before the tests), and in the middle of eating it, the phone rang. You haven’t paid. The lady used the posh Romanian word for paid, achitat, instead of the common word, plătit. You’re right. How embarrassing. In the afternoon I had the face-to-face lesson with the single pair of twins, and I passed by the doctor’s on the way. All the tests came to 356 lei (£63; NZ$120), so it wasn’t especially cheap. I’ll post my results next time. I seriously need to consider surgery on my sinuses. My normal doctor, who is generally very good, prescribes me pills or sprays that are of very little benefit. As Mum said, spray and walk away.

I’ve been quickly getting through (and thoroughly enjoying) The Glass Hotel by Emily St John Mandel. It’s the second book of hers I’ve read, the first being Station Eleven which is all about a fictional pandemic and its aftermath (I reread bits of it at the start of the Covid outbreak).

Mum and Dad are now on their way from Singapore to Christchurch. They Skyped me from the airport this lunchtime (my time). All around I could see Airportland. Flashing (and surprisingly fast) buggies, travelators that seemed to stretch miles, and a sign saying Changi Terminal One. Changi consists of four vast terminals. They were too tired to enjoy their stay in Singapore much this time, although they’d had a very good beef dish from a street market, or bar, the night before. On the London-to-Singapore leg, they had to contend with a screaming baby for the entire 13½ hours. When I spoke to them today, they dearly wanted to get home.

Two new students tomorrow – a twelve-year-old boy and his mother, separately. Tomorrow will be St Andrew’s Day, the first of two public holidays. Thursday (1st December) is Romania’s national day. Many Romanians have decided to take Friday off as well, giving them a five-day weekend.

Family - Language teaching - Life :) - Music

Feeling cabbagey

November 25, 2022 by 0 Comments

The walls of my Ceaușescu-era apartment are thick, solid concrete, so sound from other flats rarely travels into mine. Smells often do, however, and there’s a distinct meaty cabbagey whiff right now. Romanian cuisine is often meaty and cabbagey, especially at this time of year.

To get to the nitty-gritty, it’s been a pretty shitty week. I had stomach pain on Monday night, just after I wrote my blog post, and I hardly slept at all. It’s my kidney stones again, isn’t it? Luckily Tuesday is when my usual after-hours doctor is on duty, so I saw him after muddling through four lessons. It was hosing it down and I was sapped of energy but I had to make the trip. I was like a drowned rat when I got there. After waiting for a whole family to be seen to, he did all the usual checks like blood pressure, then I lay down on the table for an abdominal ultrasound. He checked my organs in turn – at one point he examined my liver for Covid-related damage of which there was none – finishing with my kidneys. I now just have one stone – not three like in February – which is in my right kidney. It’s 5 mm wide which is only borderline passable. I also had some tiny stony stuff in my left kidney, which he called “sand”. He seemed surprisingly unfazed by all this, and gave me some pills to relieve the pain caused by the build-up of gas. The pain was nowhere near as severe and persistent as nine months ago, coinciding with the start of the war in Ukraine, and it’s basically gone away now, but I feel whacked. Yesterday I even managed to fall off my bike on the way home from a lesson. I was in a rush, it was wet, my handlebar grip flew off, and I ended up with just a grazed knee and hand. It could have been something far messier. I’m now going to get the cheapest hairspray I can find, which hopefully will glue the grip to the handlebar.

I had a quick chat with Mum and Dad yesterday. They were in the library next to a shelf with Andy McNab books, and had to keep the volume down. They’re always worried about me, what with me being stuck here on my own. Their train from Poole to Cambridge on Monday was at a standstill for two hours, meaning they hit Cambridge in rush hour and a relatively simple journey turned into a stressful messful ordeal. Nothing has been simple about their trip. They fly back home tomorrow night and frankly they can’t wait.

I’ve had a good amount of work this week, though less than it feels like I’ve had. The lesson with the four twins went decently – I now have a handle on the girls’ unusual names; I’m no longer drowning in a sea of A’s and E’s and I’s. One incredible thing keeps happening with teenagers (though sometimes younger children too) and old rock bands. On Monday the single twins both wrote a paragraph about their favourite band: Metallica. Their favourite song, they said, was Nothing Else Matters. It is an amazing song, and according to Wikipedia it was released on my 12th birthday, which is bloody ages ago now. On Tuesday my 16-year-old female student came in a Guns ‘n’ Roses top with pictures of magazine cuttings dated 1988. On Wednesday I had an online lesson (finishing at 10:15 pm – ugh) with a 15-year-old boy who popped up on my screen in an AC/DC T-shirt. The eight-year-old girl in Germany – I’ll see her online later today – said her favourite band was Depeche Mode. It keeps coming. Admittedly I’m dealing with a tiny sample size here, but if it’s even partly replicated elsewhere, it’s nothing short of a phenomenon. And why? I asked Guns ‘n’ Roses Girl why, because I was so intrigued by that point. Modern music is really bad, she said. If she means mainstream modern music, I agree 100%.

Another interesting lesson was with a 32-year-old bloke who likes his football and parties. He’s close to an absolute beginner. We did some food vocab, and I asked him to pick out the foods in the pictures that he’d eaten in the past week. Chicken, burgers, pizza, chips, cakes, and hardly a fruit or vegetable to be seen. Good god man, you’re a human dustbin. I sometimes have a go at Mum on this blog, and immediately feel terrible about it, but she made sure us two boys got a proper healthy diet, which we’ve largely maintained in adulthood. Lack of McDonald’s and the like in our home town (there’s one now) certainly helped.

Language teaching - Life :)

Bullying your way to victory

November 22, 2022 by 0 Comments

At 7:50 this morning, my student cancelled her lesson which was due to start ten minutes later. She said her husband had crashed his car, but he was OK, and she had to go and pick him up. What are the chances that she was lying? Five percent? Ten? I often try to put probabilities on these kinds of things, and that’s probably why at least the concept of gambling and odds appeals to me.

I read something yesterday by Nancy Friedman, an expert in brand names. Her piece was about Shein, a mega-successful Chinese online clothes store, and more specifically its name. When I see that name I want to pronounce it “shine”, which actually sounds nice, but no, it’s the butt-ugly “she-in” – the original name was SheInside. And what’s more, it sells men’s stuff too. The name is utter Sheit, in other words. The company’s huge success made Nancy question whether her decades in the naming business even mattered anymore: Shein are winning on the back of sheer marketing gigabucks, an execrable name be damned. Spending and bullying and brute-forcing your way to victory seems the norm these days.

I miss Muzicorama, the music show broadcast on local radio every weekday evening between six and seven. As far as I know it’s still running, and presented by Bogdan Puriș, but I’m always teaching at that time. Most of the music I listen to these days is on YouTube. Right now I’m binging British stuff from about 2006, especially the Kooks, Kaiser Chiefs and Razorlight. It reminds me of my trip to the UK in that year and the time I spent with my grandmother.

Time to get going – I’ve got my lesson with the single twins as opposed to the twin twins. After that I’ve got the eight-year-old girl; I’ve done “Would You Rather?” with her three times in a row and now I’m out of ideas.

Family - Life :)

Opt miliarde

November 16, 2022 by 0 Comments

That’s the current world population, more of less, written in Romanian. Pretty much the whole of continental Europe uses some version of “milliard” to mean what we (in the English-speaking world) call a billion, and honestly it makes more sense. A billion used to mean a million million, but then the Americans repurposed billion to mean a thousand million, because no-one would ever need to talk about a million million, and eventually Britain, Australia and New Zealand followed suit as they so often do. A million million (which, it turns out, we do need to talk about) is a trillion. This rescaling which means you get a new word every thousand (instead of every million) is kind of messy. A quintillion, for instance, isn’t the fifth power of a million, but it isn’t the fifth power of a thousand either. It’s the sixth power of a thousand, or 1 with 18 zeros after it, which under the old system would just be a trillion. By the way, in the “grains of rice on a chessboard” problem there are just over nine quintillion grains, under the rebased system, on the last square. And even further by the way, Indians don’t use millions and billions in their everyday lives at all as far as I know; they use the lakh (100,000) and crore (10 million), so they’d call the world population “800 crore”.

Whatever you call it, it’s too many bloody people. If you’re 48, the world’s population has doubled in your lifetime. If you’re 69 it has tripled. If you’re 95 it has quadrupled. Britain now has miserably many people; it’s an island coming apart at the seams. I spoke to Mum this morning – she Skyped me from the library so had to be quiet – and she called the UK grim. Dad said I have a better quality of life in Romania – a country doing its bit to combat the world population explosion – than I would in the UK and I agree. (They’re keen for me to go back to New Zealand at some point, though.)

I was already blogging when we hit seven billion. At six billion I was at university. I was seven when we crashed through the five billion barrier and a newborn boy was christened the five billionth baby. But, but, how do they know? What’s my number?

Family - Language teaching - Life :) - Tennis

Lack of problems can be a problem

November 14, 2022 by 0 Comments

I’ve just got back from dinner in deepest darkest Dumbrăvița with Mark, the teacher at British School. It was the first time I’d met his girlfriend (or fiancée actually) since last Christmas. He’d made chicken curry and banana cake. All very nice. Then he showed me pictures of their various European travels.

Before that I played tennis. We played one set that needs a mention, or else I’ll forget about it. Playing with Adelin, the guy who could barely hold a racket a few weeks ago but has sporting talent in spades, we trailed 2-4 with my serve to come. I gave them a generous call on a wide ball after a long rally to give them 0-30, which then became 0-40, but we reeled off the next five points for the game. We led 5-4 and 6-5 but wound up in a tie-break in which we fell 6-2 down. Adelin hit a stone-dead net-cord to save set point number three, and we won both the next two points on my serve to bring up set point at 7-6. Alas, we lost the last three points, and that was finally that.

My new students. First, the twins. Two sets of them, aged seven and nearly nine. I got them to write some basic information about themselves. Name, age, favourite food, favourite colour, favourite school subject, and so on. Maybe not the best idea because the seven-year-olds struggled a bit to write even in their native language, although I obviously helped them as much as I could. How you’re supposed to deal with thirty of the little blighters who all want your attention at the same time I have no idea. Then it was “head, shoulders, knees and toes” and Simon Says. “Now sit down … but I didn’t say Simon Says!” Every time I do this I think it’s bloody hilarious that I worked in insurance in a previous life. Just how? Then, on the same day, I had my first session with Ana. Another Ana. This one in her mid-thirties. A total change of pace from the harum-scarum stuff with the four kids. We had a nice chat with some general grammar points thrown in. Tomorrow I’ve got my first lesson with a 16-year-old girl.

A word on my tricky lesson with Luca, aged ten, on Tuesday. He arrived in tears. He said he’d had a terrible day in which he’d been bullied for being short. I told him he really wasn’t that short, and that he’s a rather good English speaker for his age (true) who will end up with a better job, and will earn more money, than the idiots at his school. His tears dried up and we had a productive lesson, although I bet he was dreading the next day. (While I was writing that paragraph, someone messaged me to ask what “posh” meant. I said “upper-class or elevated”. I didn’t mention anything about the etymology.)

I don’t have central heating in this place and am relying on the city system to heat the radiators. So far it’s working. Last winter was a nightmare for those on the city system and I was worried my parents might freeze while they were here, even before we hit proper winter, but they were overly toasty if anything.

Mum. Perhaps her biggest problem is her lack of problems. Most of us have had to deal with a disability or some mental or physical health issue or a messy break-up or an addiction or a tragic loss or a financial setback, or most likely a concoction of some of the above. These traumas and negative experiences make one more introspective, to question oneself, to be more self-aware. It’s great, obviously, that Mum has dodged most of the bad stuff and is enjoying a prosperous and healthy retirement. But if she’d had a bit more crap to deal with, she might now have the self-awareness to view situations more objectively.

Family - Life :)

A lovely time with my parents, but…

November 12, 2022 by 0 Comments

A beautiful November day here. Not a cloud in the sky, and way warmer than it should be at this time of year. Weather-wise we’re now all far removed from “should be”, of course.

Mum and Dad left yesterday evening. They got a taxi in the middle of my online lesson, so it was a very quick and rather sad goodbye. It was a lovely moment to meet them at the airport on Saturday and to sit in the sun and wait for the bus to come. When they got to my place they quickly went to work on my main bedroom wardrobe whose doors weren’t shutting properly. They (and I) spent the best part of an hour opening and shutting doors and yanking them into or out of position. Then Dad and I went to the shop downstairs and quickly found ourselves grappling with unpredictable sliding cabinet doors. We found this very funny. “It’s like Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em,” Dad said. Dad liked that little shop, which sells (among other things) small bottles of gin, vodka, and other strong liquor. For dinner that evening we had sarmale and salată de boeuf that I’d made earlier, followed by some grapefruit-flavoured gin that they’d picked up at the duty-free shop.

On Sunday we walked down the river and into town. Dad took numerous photos of the marvellous architecture. My parents remarked on all the renovation that had been carried out in the previous 4½ years, especially in the central squares. In the afternoon I played tennis. A new guy, Sebi, was there. He’s more of a footballer than a tennis player, although he can certainly hold a racket. I played against him (in doubles) the whole time, and from my perspective we finished up 6-4, 6-2, 6-6, following a high prevalence of deuce games. We didn’t have time for a tie-break at the end. On Monday my lessons didn’t start until the afternoon, so we took a long tram trip across the city from east to west, to arrive at Dedeman, one of the big hardware stores. My parents were impressed by the variety of products available. Better than Mitre 10, they said. We looked at everything bathroom-related. Mum was also taken aback by the size of Timișoara. You get to see quite a cross-section of the city on the number 2 tram, rather like line 2 on the Paris Métro. That evening we went out for a takeaway pizza.

On Tuesday we went to the other of Timișoara’s two Dedeman stores, this time on foot. Mum often commented on the state of Timișoara relative to Geraldine. The rubbish strewn everywhere, the uneven surfaces, the lack of pavements. One time we disposed of bagfuls of rubbish, only to find it had been well and truly rifled through an hour later. I had an argument with Mum in Dedeman – luckily for me it blew over – as she insisted I ask a staff member about something even though I knew they would direct me to the front desk. Mum made a tasty meal with bacon and various vegetables from my fridge.

Wednesday was a big work day for me, and Mum spent most of the day tidying up and putting item X into cupboard Y so I won’t find it until year Z. There’s almost too much storage space here. Nice problem to have, I suppose, but in the old place I could always find things because there was literally only one option. After my lessons we went to the restaurant next to the beer factory just around the corner from here. It was hidden away (there’s something typically Romanian about that) and I had to ask a security guard where the entrance was. When we finally got inside, we found ourselves in a spectacular and cavernous room. We ordered beer, I had a substantial salad, and my parents both had cheesy pasta dishes which were much bigger than first appeared. After that we all had different desserts – papanași, cremeș and tiramisu – which we shared. Yum yum. The whole lot came to 206 lei (£37 or NZ$72) including a tip. That seemed a lot to me, but it would be cheap as chips in either the UK or NZ, not that chips are cheap anymore there either.

Yesterday I moved my afternoon lesson online so that they could get a taxi from my place at a non-ridiculously-early time. They had done a lot for me in their few days here. Mum is, and always has been, enormously helpful from a practical standpoint. Even if at times I wish she’d get her grubby mitts off whatever she happens to be intervening with, I can certainly cope with her involvement. And then it was time to say goodbye. I had a very quick Skype call from Mum at Timișoara airport, then this morning they called me again from their hotel room in Luton.

I had another argument with Mum on the phone this morning. While Dad wasn’t in the room, she said that Dad hadn’t been able to cope with the stress of travelling, while she’d been in control the whole time. You know you’re talking bollocks, don’t you? Or do you really, seriously think that’s true? Do you really lack self-awareness to that extent? I didn’t exactly say that, but I made it clear that I wouldn’t stand for her total disregard for the truth. She comes out with this steaming bullshit, which normally involves insulting Dad behind his back, so often. “He’s like a child.” Umm, hello! Anyone there? It’s tough for me because she’s so helpful and generous and loving to me, and she’s my mum, but I can’t help being appalled by this.

My brother, who is unaware that my parents have had a stressful trip, really wants them to make another journey down south before they fly back to NZ in a fortnight. If they don’t hire a car, it’s six hours each way on the bus. Dad’s had a cold for the last few days, and would prefer not to go, especially when they have a two-month-old baby. Mum probably has the beginnings of a cold too, but she feels obliged to make the trip. Ugh.

This morning I called the plumber that one of my students recommended to me; he should come early next week to look at the main bathroom. Then I got through to Barclays – amazingly they put me in the priority queue and I soon spoke to a real person based in Manchester with the accent to boot. He told me what I need to do to (hopefully) get my money back on my closed account.

A long one today. I’ve had (and will have) some new students, whom I’ll probably write about tomorrow.

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Sorting me out

November 9, 2022 by 0 Comments

Mum and Dad have just gone for a walk, so I’ll write a quick post now, just before my next lesson. I met them at the airport on Saturday, and since then they’ve been sorting me out. Most of their focus has been on my flat, which I’ve been unmotivated to do much with until now, with the exception of my office which is the only room that anyone else really sees. So we’ve been clearing this place out of much of the lime-green dross that the previous owner left behind, and Mum has been busy recupboarding (if that’s a word) – this place has enough cupboard space for a small army, and I’ve struggled to decide (and remember) what should go where. I knew that my eighties bathroom needed replacing, and my parents have helped me decide on the how and the why. I’ll probably get a plumber in here next week.

In the meantime, we’ve been visiting the markets (as well as the big hardware stores) and I’ve had lessons. This afternoon I’ll be breaking new ground: four siblings – two sets of twins – at the same time. I’ll have to cycle over to the west of the city to see them; in future perhaps they could come to me. Then later I’ve got another new student – a woman – who will have a 90-minute session with me. Four lessons in total today.

My parents fly back to the UK tomorrow evening; they’ll have two weeks in the country before heading back home. My brother wants them to pay him another visit before they leave; Mum is keen to go down there but Dad less so.

When the whole world seems to be going to the dogs, I try to find crumbs of comfort. Bolsonaro’s narrow defeat last week was most welcome. Victory, we can only hope, for actually giving a shit. Overnight the Republicans fell short of expectations in the midterm elections. They’ll probably take the House but maaaybe the Democrats will cling on to the Senate. That would be a result considering the 40-year-high inflation rate and near-record gas prices, and Republicans’ structural advantages in all branches of American politics. In particular, Trumpy Republicans did worse than less Trumpy ones. A rough night for the orange turd.

All in all, it’s been great having my parents here. I’ll write again at the weekend.