Run out of road

If the world hadn’t been turned upside down, Mum and Dad would have been making their way here about now. It seems a lifetime ago that long-haul travel was even thinkable.

My grandmother (Dad’s mum) would have been 98 today. Ten years ago she was still around, thanks to the marvels of modern medicine, and I was staying with her in the UK. I took her to a pub in Houghton for a birthday lunch – it was deathly quiet. I wrote about my time with my grandmother – my last time, sadly, before she passed away in January 2012 – in my old blog, which I called Fixed and Floating.

Ah yes, Fixed and Floating. I called it that because (a) I supposedly had a life and a career but in reality I was directionless, and (b) I was living in New Zealand, a country obsessed with the housing market. At the time I was even living in Auckland, where the feeding frenzy was quite ludicrous. “Do you fix or float your mortgage?” was a common topic around the water cooler.

When I did buy my first property, I fixed part of my mortgage but had a revolving-credit facility for the rest, so I wouldn’t risk losing my flat if the house of cards (a.k.a. my job) caved in, which of course it did almost the moment I moved in. And now, eight years on, I’ve decided to sell my flat at a gigantic loss. A horrible decision, but I (and the other owners who didn’t want to sell originally) have finally run out of road. Every morning lately I’ve woken up to emails where people have written screeds, and I’ve been forced to take an interest in something I’m nowhere near thinking about caring about. I think the body corporate committee, especially the chair, secretly enjoy all the expansive language and officiousness. I’ve now had three Zoom meetings, including one on Monday that lasted an hour and 50 minutes. I won’t make Sunday’s deadline to sign, because of all the legal requirements, but the body corporate have said I’ll be OK if get all the wheels in motion. This morning I saw a notary public (in Romania this is simply called a notar) to certify my ID documents. Surprisingly she didn’t make me take off my mask – none of the pictures on my passports and driver’s licence look much like the current version of me, even maskless. It might take ages for us to sell (the pandemic won’t help), but in the meantime I’ll still receive rental income, and I’ll be able to concentrate on things I care about, like teaching, writing this book, learning a language or two, and maybe even travelling when that becomes an option again. It’s absolutely bloody awful but I just have to make the best of it.

On Tuesday I finally dared to visit the market, so I could buy some strawberries. They were very good.

The word of the day

Today turned to shit pretty much as soon as I got up, when I saw I had a Zoom meeting request for 10am about agreement to sell the apartment block in Wellington. I attended the meeting – four members of the body corporate committee and me – and they pretty much put a gun to my head, even threating court proceedings if I refuse to sell. The most maddening thing of all is still their blind acceptance of our fate. Everything’s shit, but so be it. I’m beginning to wonder whether selling might be the best option psychologically. Get the whole damn thing over with and start again. They gave me ten days to sign (or not sign, in which case they still want to go ahead with the sale anyway, without the half-dozen or so like me who haven’t yet signed). Oh shit.

In between my two lessons with near-teenage boys, I got a call from a woman who wanted me to join some teaching platform. She was basically trying to sell me shit. She wanted to arrange a discussion. I called her back, we had a discussion of sorts, but in those situations I get stressed and my Romanian quickly turns to shit.

During my second lesson my aunt called. She was calling me about some photos I’d taken in 2008 that I emailed her on Monday. They included four female generations of the family: my grandmother, her, my cousin and her (then) three-year-old daughter. My brother was also there, as was my aunt’s dog who died recently. I described to her the situation with my apartment which she was unaware of. In her words she said it was pretty shit. She was amazed I would fail to even get my initial investment back. If only!

I’ve been reading about nursing homes in Oxfordshire – an expensive home that cost a whopping £1500 a week, where coronavirus has been kept under control, and others where just reading about it is heartbreaking. Shit doesn’t even come close.

Shopping in the Covid era

This morning I got my temperature checked on the way in to the supermarket. Two young guys were refused entry because they were maskless. In the fruit and vege area I battled those damn plastic bags with gloves and no saliva. At the checkout I got a nasty surprise as my bank card didn’t work. I tapped the PIN in twice but wasn’t going to risk it a third time (three strikes and you’re out, of course). The lady let me leave my trolley-basket there while I visited a cash machine and raided my New Zealand account. Everything then had to be re-scanned. What a pain. Then I faced what has become the usual routine: packing everything into my two backpacks to the intermittent sounds made by the nearby grab-a-furry-toy game called Happy Zoo, while trying not let the yoghurts or bags of rice split. Then I had to lug it all home. I’ll pop to the bank tomorrow morning. When I got back home, I had my now-weekly chat with my aunt. She was bored, and assumed I would be too. I don’t think I’ve felt ever bored during this pandemic, barring perhaps the first few days.

This afternoon I had that awkward FaceTime lesson with the ten-year-old. I was happy for him to spend the final 20 minutes describing Brawl Stars to me (in very good English, it must be said). Apart from the fact that it’s a game that uses cartoon-like characters and they fight each other (hence the name), I’m none the wiser. “I’ve won 9700 trophies.” Wow, that’s a lot. Where do you keep them all? This morning I had my first face-to-face lesson since March. We met in the park and sat at opposite ends of the bench. I was on the verge of a heated argument with her when she expressed her views that the virus was semi-fake (“but people die all the time”); I reined myself in, thankfully. It was good to see her again for the first time in February. I feel sorry for her because she has to bring up her six-year-old son on her own, and he’s very underweight and understrength for his age.

Yesterday I had a lesson that included an article on the 1988 FA Cup final. Other highlights have been the UK-based guy’s comments that nursing homes “sound like a bit of fun” and my 25-year-old student’s fascinating description of preparing, singeing, cutting and smoking a pig for Christmas. It’s pleasing to me that young Romanians are still interested in those traditions.

Tomorrow I’ve got no lessons at all, and once I’ve sorted out my bank card, I absolutely must crack on with the English book.

The eruption of Mount St Helens, 40 years ago today

Relaxation

Cracks had already been showing in the lockdown for some time. It was inevitable really – the warm weather, the light evenings until nine, and the general feeling of lockdown fatigue meant that people were itching to get outside. Then came yesterday, when the state of emergency was officially replaced by a state of alert, and it was like a switch had been flipped. Still fewer people than normal, but a big increase.

So what’s new? If you’re staying within the city, you no longer have to fill in a form to say where you’re going and why. Most shops and fast food kiosks are now open. Restaurants, bars and cafés remain closed (inside and out), as do malls (good!). Services are starting up at the cathedral again, but outside. Schools won’t be going back until September. The Romanian school year ends in June, so unless you reschedule it somehow, there’s no point in going back before the autumn. Although the UK school year finishes in July, it would be best if the Brits called the whole thing off too.

I’m still going up and down the stairs with those ten litres of water on my back. People often ask me, “Isn’t the lift working?” Today I tried counting the steps in Serbian, eight at a time, up to hiljada dvadeset četiri (1024).

This morning they repainted the pedestrian crossing below my apartment, with a twist. People in the UK are told to be alert; in Romania you have to B sharp instead:

When I walked by the Bega this afternoon I saw a hornet’s nest. I hadn’t seen hornets for ages. Maybe they were those killer hornets I’d been warned about. This is what the Bega looked like today:

Serbian commentary 9 — Signs from last summer’s trip VII

This is the final part of the series.

It’s 7pm but it’s still stinking hot, and look at the weather for the coming days. The whole trip was hot. When I arrived in Belgrade on 12th August it was 37 degrees, and Mostar was the same. (I was lucky. Mostar had reached 42 a week earlier.) At least there’s not too much vlažnost (humidity). This word comes from vlažan (humid). The -ost ending corresponds to English -ness or -ity; in eighties Russia there was glasnost, “openness”. Note that vlažnost features yet another of those famous disappearing a‘s. We’ve got pretty high pritisak (pressure) and not much vetar (wind).

But what fascinated me about this electronic sign was the compass. I mean, compass directions in any language seem to be NSEW or a close variation. French is NSEO. Romanian is NSEV. But SJIZ, with S being north?! The Serbian compass points are sever (north), jug (south), istok (east) and zapad (west). Two of these happen to be English words. Istok at least sounds a little like “east”. As for zapad, that’s remarkably close to zăpadă, the Romanian word for snow. Hmmm, what’s going on there? It turns out that both zapad and zăpadă come from the same Slavic root word, meaning “fall”. Snow falls, and the sun falls (i.e. sets) in the west. Etymology can be amazing at times.

Now we come to the first of two signs that look like hieroglyphics. I bloody love the font because it looks so wonderfully primitive with all the letters made out of basic shapes, but because it’s already in a script I don’t know too well, and in a language I hardly know at all, it’s extremely hard to read. Is that a Г or a Ћ? An М or an Н? Honestly even the numbers are hard to decipher.

I got this:
По овој кући су кораци Милорада Петровића, глумца Народног Позоришта, одјекивали 1865–1928. Кућа це ова Браниславу Нушићу 1864–1938 радована и Добрицом Милутиновићем 1881–1956 славним српским глумцем поносила.

The Latin equivalent:
Po ovoj kući su koraci Milorada Petrovića, glumca Narodnog Pozorišta, odjekivali 1865–1928. Kuća ce ova Branislavu Nušiću 1864–1938 radovana i Dobricom Milutinovićem 1881–1956 slavnim srpskim glumcem ponosila.

The English translation is something like this:
The footsteps of Milorad Petrović (1865–1928), an actor in the National Theatre, echoed around this house. This house was also proud to accommodate both Branislav Nušić (1864–1938) and Dobrica Milutinović (1881–1956), famous Serbian actors.

I was confused with the word radovana, because Radovan is also a common male name. The word glumac (actor) is cognate with the Romanian word glumă, meaning “joke”. Korak means “step”, and the plural is koraci. As far as I know, the letter k changes to c when an i is added.

I didn’t think this sign could be any harder to decipher than the previous one, but it sure as hell is. Decoding these signs is a three-stage process. First, you have to figure out what Cyrillic letters are represented by these weird letter-forms. Some of them (like C, К or M) have their standard shapes on the sign, but others don’t, and some letters (like Д and Е) don’t even have a consistent shape throughout the sign. Second, you need to transpose the Cyrillic to Latin (although with a bit of experience you could skip this step). And third, you have to figure out all the words actually mean. After much head-scratching, this is what I got:

Живота горког кад год грч ме гвозденом канџом зграби; стисне; рађено срце на дну крчме ко дивља звер затули; врисне.
И нагнем пехар на грло суво сав ми се свет пред очима врти или ми циган свира на уво о слаткој страсти и о смрти.
Густав Крклец, Бумс.

The Latin equivalent:
Života gorkog kad god grč me gvozdenom kandžom zgrabi, stisne, rađeno srce na dnu krčme ko divlja zver zatuli, vrisne.
I nagnem pehar na grlo suvo sav mi se svet pred očima vrti ili mi cigan svira na uvo o slatkoj strasti i o smrti.
Gustav Krklec, Bums.

And in English, maybe, with the help of Google Translate:
A bitter drop of life grabs me with an iron claw, it squeezes; a working heart at the bottom of the tavern like a wild beast roars, it screams.
And I lean the goblet over my throat, the whole world is spinning before my eyes, or a gypsy is playing in my ear about sweet passion and death.

Gustav Krklec was a Croatian writer and translator. This is a poem; we’ve got stisne rhyming with vrisne. “Bums” appears to be title. The word zgrabi seems to be cognate with English “grab”, and possibly also the Romanian verb a se grăbi, which means “to hurry”. Cigan, “gypsy”, is basically identical to Romanian țigan, French tzigane (or tsigane), and Italian zingaro. The word krčme (tavern, inn, pub) is the genitive of krčma, which is equivalent to cârciumă in Romanian.

So that’s it, finally. Shop-front signs, handwritten notices, electronic signs, murals, graffiti, plaques, I seem to have covered just about everything. Maybe this will help me make some inroads into this rather difficult language. Let’s hope so.

Serbian commentary 8 — Signs from last summer’s trip VI

We’re back in Belgrade for the sixth and penultimate part of this series, and suddenly there’s a whole load of Cyrillic again. The sign above the door of this sandwich bar reads:
Најбољи и најјефтинији сендвичи у граду. Са домаћом пршутом и комплет лепиња.
In Latin, this would be: Najbolji i najjeftiniji sendviči u gradu. Sa domaćom pršutom i komplet lepinja.
Translation: “The best and cheapest sandwiches in town. With homemade ham and a selection of buns.”

The words for “best” and “cheapest” use the naj- prefix for superlatives that I mentioned before. The word jeftin (“cheap”) is just like the Romanian word ieftin. (Incidentally, the same goes for “expensive”: skup in Serbian, scump in Romanian.) When you add the naj- prefix in front of jeftin, you get a slightly weird-looking double j. In fact the word najjeftiniji with all its i‘s and j‘s looks decidedly weird, full stop.

The adjective domaćom (domestic, homemade) and noun pršutom (ham, prosciutto) have the pleasant-sounding (to me) -om ending because they’re in the instrumental case, which is used to express with or by something, as well as a bunch of other things that I don’t know yet. Singular nouns usually get the -om ending in the instrumental, but in the case of masculine nouns that end in a so-called soft consonant like j or š, and neuter nouns that end in -e, you add -em instead. So čaj (tea) becomes čajem. Then plurals are different again. How am I ever supposed to remember this stuff?

Some graffiti. Smrt imperijalizmu, sloboda Balkanu! This means “Death to imperialism, freedom for the Balkans!” Even in just these four words, there’s some grammar. The word for imperalism is imperijalizam, but here the graffiti artist (that’s not the right word at all, I know) needed the dative case, which meant a u was added and the a before the m deleted. You see sloboda and its variants all the time. Slobodan means free, in the sense of “liberated” or “available”. It’s also a common male name, as in Slobodan Milošević, who was about as misnamed as you can get. We also have the noun slobod and verb a slobozi in Romanian, although they aren’t used nearly as much. To say “free” meaning “costing nothing”, you use the word besplatan, literally “without payment”. Bez means “without”, but the voiced z changes to unvoiced s before the unvoiced p. In Romanian we also have plată (payment) and a plăti (to pay). As for Balkanu, that’s also in the dative case. Because the last a of Balkan is stressed and longer, the rule about removing it before adding the u doesn’t apply here.

It’s almost impossible to see, but on the left-hand side of the big white C there’s some small stencilled graffiti that says 11.07.1995 #sedamhiljada. That’s a reference to the Srebrenica massacre in which many thousands of Bosniaks were killed. Sedam hiljada means 7000, although Wikipedia tells me that over 8000 people died there. The word hiljada (thousand) is borrowed from Greek; it’s cognate with kilo. Two thousand would be dve hiljade, with a final -e, but for 5000 and above, the -e returns to -a again. The name Srebrenica, by the way, comes from srebro, meaning silver. In Roman times it had a silver mine.

Firstly, the car. It’s a Zastava, probably from the late eighties or early nineties. I saw quite a lot of these still on the roads in Belgrade. The UE on the number plate stands for Užice, a region situated south-west of Belgrade. The name Zastava means “flag”. As for the Cyrllic sign outside a café, it says Цеђени сокови, or Ceđeni sokovi in Latin, which means “squeezed juices”. Sok is the word for juice in the singular. It’s masculine, like most nouns that end in a consonant. For the majority of masculine nouns, you simply add -i to make the plural, but some single-syllable nouns like sok add a longer -ovi ending instead. Another example is most (bridge), which becomes mostovi in the plural. A squeezed juice at this bar costs 169 dinars, about £1.40 or nearly NZ$3.

Britain: what’s gone wrong?

When I moved to New Zealand in 2003, I was proud to be British. All the wonderful music and comedy that appeared on my TV screen made me homesick. I still remember how I felt when I went back to the UK in 2006 – this is a cool country. New Zealand is picturesque and everything, but it’s culturally dead. This place, on the other hand, is humming.

But now I switch on the TV and it’s the UK that seems culturally dead. It’s felt that way for years, long before this pandemic hit. Is Brexit to blame? Is it the internet? Something is missing. It seems the London Olympics in 2012 were Britain’s last hurrah, and since then the UK has become an increasingly inward-looking nation. Perhaps it’s just me looking in from the outside, and if I lived in the UK everything would feel as alive as ever (once you ignore the effects of coronavirus, of course).

I watched bits of Boris in parliament this afternoon. I’ve heard some people say that he’s mad (and the same of Trump). Maybe, but that’s not the right criticism. There’s nothing wrong with being a bit mad. The most interesting, most creative people tend to head in that direction. (The attraction of Romania to me as opposed to, say, Hungary or Poland, was that it would be a bit madder. Things would be faded, rusty, coming apart at the seams. Things might smell a bit. Colours wouldn’t match. My kind of place.) No, the problem with Boris is that he’s massively overprivileged. He hasn’t got to his position by being any good; he’s got there on this connections, on being able to make it up as he goes along, on having far too much self-confidence pumped into him at Eton. In a pandemic crisis like this, you need attention to detail, clarity of message, and bucketloads of sincerity. In other words, Boris is exactly who you don’t want at the helm. He’s potentially dangerous. (He’s still better than Trump, though. With Trump, there’s no potentially about it. That guy is evil. In all 17-plus stone of him, there is not an ounce of empathy.)

I had a sad lesson this afternoon with the woman I once played tennis with. She’s clearly been unhappy in her marriage for some time, and is now having Skype meetings with a psychologist. After the session we had a good chat in Romanian, and I felt I did reasonably well.

The nightmare with my apartment in Wellington means I’ve gone eight years without caring about money, except at a basic level. I’d pretty much given up on achieving any sort of long-term financial strength, because that ship seemed to have sailed. And really I’d checked out about four years before I got that awful letter from the council – I still had my career in insurance, but I was going through the motions. Now though, having hit 40, it’s about time I did something. I’ve managed to kill off most of my mortgage, and my immediate goal is to eradicate it completely. With KiwiSaver and the little pots of money I have in the UK and Romania, my financial situation isn’t all that dire when you consider the enormous loss I’ve incurred in Wellington. My almost total avoidance of expenditure on anything I can’t eat has helped.

Radio Timișoara plays all sorts of weird and wonderful music, most of it surprisingly good. I sometimes Shazam the songs when I hear them. Usually (but not always), Shazam tracks down the artist and the song title, and tells me how many people have Shazammed the song to date. These numbers are often in six or seven figures, but with lesser-known Romanian songs they might only be in the dozens or hundreds. On Monday I got a bit of a surprise when I heard a new song by Ștefan Bănică (Junior – his father died some time ago). This song had interesting lyrics, including Ceaușescu and Simona Halep. I was the first person to Shazam the song:

Then a few minutes later I heard a song I liked by a band from Timișoara called All In Green. This time I was a bit tardy and had to settle for bronze:

Contrast that with Master Blaster (Jammin’) on this evening’s Stevie Wonder-themed show. Fantastic song; nearly 1.6 million searches. (The song was made in 1979 and came out in ’80, just like me.)

Serbian commentary 7 — Signs from last summer’s trip V

We’re still in Sarajevo. The sign above the doorway says Српско Погребно Друштво, or Srpsko Pogrebno Društvo in latin. This means Serbian Funeral Society. Because Društvo ends in -o (it’s neuter), so do the two adjectives that precede it. Свети Марко or Sveti Marko means Saint Mark. There’s an i on the end of Sveti because it’s a definite saint (instead of any old saint), but I don’t know the ins and outs of that yet. In the third part of this series I said that Serbo-Croat words exhibit harmony between voiced and unvoiced sounds. Well, you see it again with Srpski and its variants. The voiced b of Srb has become an unvoiced p to match the unvoiced s that follows it.

Striparnica sounds like it could be something else, but it’s just a comic book shop.

More books. These ones are on music and films. I’ve read Born to Run, by … er … Brus Springstin, and it’s a damn good read. To the left of Springsteen’s autobiography is a book entitled (I think – you can’t quite see it) “The 100 Best Western Films”. However, the superlative adjective najboljih appears to be in the genitive plural, so it might be “100 of the Best…”. The word for “good”, which you hear all the time, is dobar, dobra or dobro, depending on gender. The comparative form (“better”) is bolji, bolja or bolje (it’s irregular, just like in English). The naj- prefix turns the comparative into a superlative (and that goes for all comparable adjectives, as far as I know).

In the centre right we’ve got a book by Toma Zdravković, who according to Wikipedia was a pop-folk singer-songwriter who died in 1991. A Mrs Zdravković was a teacher at my primary school in England, though she never taught me. The name must come from zdravo, meaning healthy and strong. The book is in Cyrillic, but Toma’s first name looks the same as it would in Latin. That’s because seven letters (JOKE MAT) look the same, and do the same job, in both Latin and Serbo-Croat Cyrillic. Well, the Cyrillic К looks slightly kinkier in the top right. On Bosnian number plates, the only letters you saw were the JOKE MAT letters. Other Cyrillic letters, like B, C and X, look just like Latin letters but correspond to different letters (B is equivalent to Latin V; C is like Latin S, and X is like Latin H).

The sign above had me baffled for a while, partly because of the font size difference between HIGIJENA and the following words. I knew pola was “half” and zdravlja was “health”, but what on earth does “half health” mean? It’s actually a full sentence: Higijena je pola zdravlja, which means “hygiene is half of health”, or something akin to “cleanliness is next to godliness”. Pranje od 30 do 95 means “washing from 30 to 95”, which I guess is the temperature. I don’t know what the H. means on the bottom line, but čišćenje (Google tells me the second c should have an acute accent, not a v-shaped one) means “cleaning”.

The two c-type letters in čišćenje are both pronounced similarly to ch in “chair”, but the first one (č) is a stronger sound, while the second one (ć) is softer, a bit like the start of “tune” in British English (in other words, how I say it). There’s a similar difference between (a single letter in Serbo-Croat), which is pronounced like the “j” in jump, and đ (sometimes also written dj, as in Djoković) which is pronounced like the beginning of British English “dune”. In both cases the differences are pretty small.

The letter š is pronounced sh, so in čišćenje you’ve got a sh sound and a ch-type sound back-to-back, just like in the word pushchair. I think this combination is relatively frequent; in Russian Cyrillic the shch combination even has its own letter (щ).

Hotting up

I was going to say it’s been a warm day, but no, it’s been positively hot. Nudging 30 degrees, and people were taking advantage of it. A far cry from six weeks ago when people were clearly scared to leave the house.

This afternoon’s lesson went well. My student showed his appreciation at the end. I spent some time yesterday and today translating The Magic Finger from English to Romanian, so I won’t sound quite so clueless when I we go through the last twenty-odd pages tomorrow. With intermediate students this isn’t a problem, because with them I only ever need to translate individual words or explain the gist of a sentence in English; I never have to translate whole texts into Romanian. It’s good practice though.

Little Richard has died. I didn’t know that much about him, but what an entertainer he was. (Isn’t Youtube great?) In his day he must have been a sensation. Right now, in a different dimension, I’m watching a traditional Romanian music show on TV. Dili-dili-dili-dili-dum, with violins going at a hundred miles an hour. The last song was all about the pride of being from Botoșani, which I always think of as șobolani (meaning “rats”).

I watched Boris Johnson’s speech. Lots of talk about the R (reproductive) rate, which they now say is between 0.5 and 0.9 (why such a range?), but no talk of masks. Madness.

My brother is fine. He went back to work last week. For some reason we ended up talking about the stock market before running out of things to say.