A night at the opera, and more

It’s the longest day here – the shortest in the southern hemisphere – and it’s been an eventful one weather-wise. In late afternoon we’ve had a thunderstorm and driving rain that have sent the temperature tumbling 15 degrees from a high of 34. It’s sheeting down as I write this.

Mum and Dad took the WizzAir flight from Timișoara to Luton very early on Friday morning. Later that day my brother arrived in St Ives, and then the next day Mum and Dad were whisked off to Poole. Great that my brother picked them up, saving them either a bus or a train journey, but they might have preferred a couple of days to recuperate.

Yes, I was really happy with my parents’ stay. I was far better prepared than last time. Fewer lessons certainly helped. After we’d got back from Cluj – I’ll remember that epic journey for a while – I tried to give them interesting things to do and places to go. There was Ciacova last Saturday, with those huge pastries from the bakery, then the following day (Mum’s birthday) we had a meal at Berăria 700 before settling down to a night at the opera. My parents had been before a long time ago, but it was a totally new experience for me. We saw Adriana Lecouvreur, not exactly a well-known opera and probably not the best for a first-timer to see. When I read what it was about before I went, it said that I would be utterly baffled by the plot. Which indeed I was, even though it subtitled in both Romanian and a particularly flowery (though correct) version of English above the stage. Adriana was a real French actress 300 years ago, but her story in the opera was entirely made up. To be honest though, the plot was secondary to the talented singers, all extremely colourfully clad, and just being there in such a beautiful building. The performance was made up of four acts, with intervals after acts two and three, and took just over three hours. The sheer scale of the production was impressive. We sat at the bottom, but I think I’d have preferred being higher up so I could have seen the orchestra pit. The first half dragged a bit, but the dancing brought the show to life in act three. Tickets were 70 lei (£12 or NZ$27) each – extraordinary value.

When we got back from the opera, Mum was keen to go back there the next day to see a ballet gala. We booked online, grabbing some of the last available tickets, to sit two floors above the stage. They were just 20 lei each. Before the ballet, I decided to take Mum and Dad out for an excursion. We left at 10:30 and made a stop in Buzad where Dorothy has her house. We did a lap of the village on foot. As always, my parents had a good look at the houses. They marvelled at the sheer number of plum trees everywhere. From there we went to Lipova, which I last went to during the winter. It was slow going with all the road works and potholes. Lipova is a lovely town. We had coffee at the old Turkish bazaar which had furniture made out of old farm machinery. Dad and I wanted to get pastries from the bakery, but Mum vetoed that idea. I thought of going to the fortress at Șoimoș, just outside Lipova, but we didn’t have time. The journey back was long, with constant stoppages. We got back at 4:30; the ballet would start at seven. Inexplicably, Mum then flipped her lid because she’d planned to cook up a chicken for dinner and we might not have time for that. She told Dad and me, “You expect me to produce a meal for you,” when in fact we had no expectations at all, then said, “Most women wouldn’t put up with this.” Yikes. Her behaviour was beyond irrational. Thankfully it all blew over, the chicken did in fact get cooked, and we took the tram into town in plenty of time for the ballet. (Mum got agitated on a number of occasions while she was here, but that was as close as she got to crossing the line. Last time she crossed it twice, and from my perspective that made a mess of my parents’ whole stay.) The gala was basically two and a half hours of girls of all ages doing ballet at all levels. They all went to ballet school in Mehala. One of the girls was the little sister of a boy I teach; soon I’ll be teaching her too.

On Tuesday Mum and Dad went into town by themselves. They came back saying how wonderful Timișoara is now, and I thought, yes, you’re right. So many buildings have been renovated and now look really smart. Because I live here, I get blasé about it all. On Wednesday I’d planned to take Mum and Dad to Recaș – they have a big barbecue there on Wednesdays and Saturdays, as well as the winery – but at around 11:30 I got struck down suddenly by a horrific headache that lasted about four hours. Having my parents here made it harder to deal with. Being in the middle of a bright sunny day didn’t help either; darkness is my friend when I have a bad headache. By the evening I’d recovered sufficiently for us to go out for another meal at Berăria 700. The highlight of that meal were the desserts. We had to wait ages for them. I got papanași which are dumplings with sour cream and a kind of jam, Dad had a stack of pancakes topped off with a kind of meringue (a speciality of the Banat region), while Mum had cremeș which is a puff pastry dessert. They were delicious. And enormous. We took some of it all back in a doggy bag for the next day. On Thursday morning I did take Mum and Dad to Recaș. No barbecue but they still had a good look round the park and the churches, and we got a two-litre bottle of white wine (for just 21 lei) from the tap in the winery.

On Wednesday Dad got an email about roof repairs being needed on one of their places in St Ives – the one on which the sale was agreed ages ago – and that really set things off. If the sale ends up not going through after all – that remains a possibility – I have no idea how my parents will handle that. One thing’s for sure, I don’t want to be dealing with that sort of crap when I’m heading for 80.

Mum struggled a lot with her tummy business; she seems to be perpetually constipated. Because she is rarely keen to visit the doctor, I don’t know how her situation improves.

Mum kept reiterating how appreciative she was of the effort I’d put in to make her and Dad’s stay as comfortable as possible. Mum is a good person and she loves me dearly. I’m very happy with how things panned out with her. And by the way, she seemed to really love Kitty. I shouldn’t have been surprised – she was fond of the cat we had when I was little – but both she and Dad were very anti me ever getting one.

After Andy Burnham winning that by-election by a mile, he’s highly likely to become the UK’s next prime minister. Personally speaking, he’s the most likeable PM (or potential PM) in a very long time. And there have been a lot. He’s not slick, he’s not an amazing orator, he doesn’t have airs and graces, he just talks frankly, which is what you want. Or what I would want, at any rate. If he does become PM, he faces a monumental task. He’s battling a hostile media, endless cynicism around politics, and a highly unstable world over which he has little control. I wish him all the best.

This morning, having slept dreadfully, I met Mark in Dumbrăvița where we played squash for the last time, then had beers outside at the restaurant nearby. He and his wife will be off on their big Africa trip this coming Friday. He’s now done with teaching definitively, and is applying for a cheese-making job (quite a departure) just outside Preston.

A successful stay

Mum and Dad are off to the UK very early tomorrow morning. We’ll have to be up at around four. They’re choosing a good time to leave as the temperature is rapidly rising beyond Dad’s comfort zone. Their stay here has been a success and the highlight of the year so far for me. Since I last wrote we’ve been to the opera and the ballet, had meals out, and been on various road trips. Oh, and I’ve had another terrible headache. That was yesterday. More details next time. And Mum seems to really like Kitty. Whether I see my parents in the UK before they return to New Zealand in six weeks’ time I really don’t know at this stage.

In the last couple of days an Iran peace deal has been signed; all reputable news sources have reported the deal using loads of inverted commas. And tonight Andy Burnham might win that by-election in Manchester. If he does, he may well become the UK’s next prime minister.

They made it (and are in fine fettle)

Mum and Dad arrived in the UK on Tuesday afternoon. They’ve coped remarkably well with the flight, despite the 14-hour leg between Sydney and Dubai which they vowed never to repeat. (I’ve done a few 12s in my time, and maybe a 13, but 14 is certainly up there.) On Monday I had another bad headache. I was in the middle of it when Mum called me from Sydney. I could hear a screaming child in the background and if it was me having to deal with that I’d have wanted to die. My headache stopped just short of the level it has reached lately (otherwise I wouldn’t have answered that call), so it didn’t utterly mess me up for days afterwards. My cold is certainly better now too, though I’ve got a runny nose and I’m coughing up gunk. And fatigue is still a problem.

Last night I booked Mum and Dad’s Ryanair flight from Stansted to Cluj. At the fourth attempt. I was going nuts as things were disappearing from both my phone and laptop screens and at one stage it declined my card. But I got it done. Their flight will get in at close to ten on the evening of Monday 8th June. The next step will be booking some accommodation. The stakes feel high there. Obviously I’m greatly looking forward to seeing them. I just desperately hope things don’t turn sour with Mum.

I’ve had a whole load of cancellations this week. Today my six lessons have become three, and that’s assuming nobody else pulls the plug. In the past that would have been majorly annoying, but not now. Suddenly I need all the breaks I can get.

The new round of Scrabble – I’m now in the second division out of 13 – has started today. I’m expecting a bloodbath. The format of the league mitigates against the fact that I’m comparatively slow in finding my plays, but nothing will get round me simply not knowing enough words. Even getting this far has been nothing short of a miracle.

The strawberries and cherries are now out, as are the new potatoes and peas in a pod. I’m switching to my summer diet which involves very little meat.

The area around where I live is being revamped and is like a huge building site:

Yes, we have a dinosaur park. It’s in a horrible location next to the mall.

A heron by the river last week

Whoever owns this bike is a fan of the (very good) Romanian band Robin and the Backstabbers

It’s ALL like freezing cold sea water

So last week I felt I was maybe coming back to life, then on Friday I came down with a cold – a horrible chesty one, coughing up gunge – and it was back to square one again. Right now I also have a headache, though certainly not one of those horrific migraines. Between Friday afternoon and Saturday afternoon I was supposed to have seven lessons, but two people cancelled, preventing me from disappearing down a pit that I may never have crawled out of. Recently I said that getting out of bed had become like inching into cold sea water. Now all of life has become like that. But worse, because at least the sea feels nice once you’re in. Nothing feels nice at the moment. Nice is history. I must say though that it did feel pretty good to get back home from Dumbrăvița just after three on Saturday afternoon, knowing that I wouldn’t have to see or talk to anybody for the rest of the weekend. I rarely used to take naps in the daytime but now I’m doing so out of necessity. On Thursday morning I had my Romanian lesson and then an English lesson with a new student – I met her at the conversation club – that finished at eleven. Then at 11:30 I could no longer stay awake. That’s pretty damn early to already be dead to the world, and that was even before I had the cold symptoms. I’m seeing the doctor on Wednesday.

I’ve been in touch with Mum and Dad. They leave New Zealand a week today. They plan to fly to Romania after giving themselves time to acclimatise in the UK. It’s likely they’ll fly to Cluj rather than Timișoara to avoid the horrors of flying from Luton and having to stay overnight there. (You can take a Ryanair flight from Stansted to Cluj at a sensible time of day.) I’ll make my way there – a four-hour drive – then pick them up at the airport and go to our accommodation, wherever that happens to be. I said I’d book it this time. Then we’ll spend maybe three days in Cluj before coming back to Timișoara. I don’t know how we’re all going to manage this. My parents will be 76 and 77 next month; I feel like I’m bloody 90. David Attenborough is 100 and I’m sure he’s managing better than I am. I spoke to my brother last night. Not for long – he was busy with the kids (I saw them both) and I didn’t exactly feel like much of a chat. He warned me about accommodation and Mum. You’ll need to tread carefully, he said. He’s right, which is why I decided I’d book it. Last time I let Mum book everything and it all got stressful. I’ll go for a proper hotel with a couple of extra stars this time. The hit to my back pocket (or someone’s back pocket – Mum will insist on reimbursing me) will be worth it. Then my flat has become hopelessly messy again and I’ll have to somehow sort that out in between the lessons and naps and feeling like crap.

The local election results in the UK were dire for Labour and fantastic for Reform and Nigel Farage who really could become prime minister in three years’ time. Under first-past-the-post, a majority is possible with only around 30% of the vote if the opposition is sufficiently fractured. That would surely be another big fat nail in the coffin. A Trump supporter and probably a fan of Putin too. He would have got the British forces properly involved in the Iran war. The Tories did badly too. They’ve tried to copy Reform in many ways, and why would you vote for a watered-down version when you can get the neat version?

I had my last-ever lesson with Matei on Saturday. (I saw him on Friday as well.) He has his two IB (International Baccalaureate) maths exams this week. His parents gave me a backpack as a present. All in all, I must have had about 300 sessions with him. Assuming he gets reasonable grades in his IB, he’ll be off to Bremen University in Germany in September. He’s signed up to do chemistry and biology but may switch to business studies instead.

On Wednesday I saw the girl whom I’d managed to traumatise with my “lightning quiz” the week before. This time she was OK. I think her mother might have drilled her times tables into her.

I haven’t mentioned Kitty for a while. She’s fine. As I write, she’s in her favourite spot atop the dresser at the end of the living room. I wish I had more energy to play and interact with her.

Scrabble. Once again I have a fight on my hands to stay in the division. In one game, which I may well need to win if I’m to survive, I have a small lead and it’s my turn. I’ve got the QU combination but no other vowels and I have no idea what to do.

Right now, life feels like one big relegation. I’m doing what I can to eat and sleep properly (I’ve put on weight) and get some exercise and sunshine. It’s about all I can do.

At a Romanian barber shop

Last night I didn’t bother with the snooker. Earlier to bed. A bit easier to get up in the morning. I spoke to Mum and Dad on Teams before they had dinner, or what we would have called tea.

Yesterday I finally got my hair cut. It had got pretty long and for the previous few weeks I’d had it tied back in a ponytail. The hairdresser, a woman of around sixty, asked me why I hadn’t been for a while. I told her about the headaches. How many doses of the Covid vaccine did you take? Um, three. Well that explains everything. I remarked that there were no other customers. Nobody has any money anymore. We’ve given it all to Ukraine. She then went on about how Romania has gone to the dogs in the last 35 years. So what was it like here in the eighties, I asked. Just wonderful. People had jobs. Look at all the factories we had! Food was so much better, not full of all those E-numbers like it is today. And we all went to the disco. It was fun. I decided to mostly let her talk; she had a weapon in her hand that I preferred her to use only for cutting my hair. Afterwards she showed me some jarred preserves she’d made. In particular, he was keen to show me a jar of bright green stuff. It cures haemorrhoids. I haven’t got haemorrhoids! We both laughed at this point, and she ensured me that it sorted out plenty of other ailments too. It felt pretty good to have rid myself of all that hair.

Yesterday I also went to ask about my car – the place is on the the way to the hairdresser’s – because the “anti-pollution fault” light has been showing on the dashboard for a while and I haven’t a clue what to do about it. I’ll take it in on Monday. I also put a new chain on my bike. That would have been so much easier if I’d had someone else to hold it. In so many ways, the world isn’t made for one.

Snooker. Since Mark Williams’ exit I’ve been sort of zoning in and out. There was a crazy (very long) frame yesterday between John Higgins and Neil Robertson where everything happened – off the table. First Robertson’s chair broke. Then there was a suspiciously loud ah-choo as one of the players was about to play his shot. Then there was a mystery beep. Not a phone. Where is it coming from? The female referee was perplexed. It was in fact someone in a wheelchair with breathing apparatus which beeped when he (she?) got low on oxygen. It couldn’t be turned off. The referee asked the players. Can you cope with the beep or shall we make them leave? The players were hardly going to agree to the latter. There were several protracted ball replacements after fouls. During one of them, the players used the opportunity to visit the loo.

My maths student had the first of her two exams today. She’s given me mixed messages about her performance. Fingers crossed she did OK.

Update: I managed to traumatise my eleven-year-old maths student today by giving her a so-called lightning quiz. Twenty quick mental arithmetic questions to do in five minutes. Her mother got involved and I think I was pretty close to being fired, so to speak. I will come back next week, but there’ll be no lightning quizzes for a while. I felt bad about the whole thing

Last year’s champion Zhao Xintong is out of the snooker, beaten 13-10 by Shaun Murphy in a bit of an upset. The Crucible curse, by which a first-time champion has never defended his title, is still alive and well. Zhao potted three reds in one shot (um, what just happened there?) during his loss to Murphy. Wu Yize is still going strong though. Tomorrow is the start of the semis, played over three days on a single table.

The big cancel

Right now I’m shot to shit, mentally and physically. Life has slowed to a crawl. I have just about all the symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome or ME. Or long Covid, for that matter, not that I’ve ever knowingly had even short Covid. Terrible sleep, energy levels through the floor, and feeling generally discombobulated (great word) when faced with, well, just about anything. I have found pages online linking migraine attacks and chronic fatigue, but you’ll find pages linking anything to anything if you look hard enough. My hope is that given time I’ll get back to normal, as I did for ten days or so in the early part of this month.

So I’ve been cancelling lessons left, right and centre. I stumbled through my two-hour maths lesson this morning, then had a Zoom call with my uni friend (my brain fog meant that even arranging that meeting felt like a big deal). And that was it for the day. I’d let the three Ms (Matei, Mihaela and Martin) know that I wouldn’t be seeing them. Tomorrow I’m cancelling three sessions out of five. Even doing that is hard, because I can’t immediately think of their names to cancel them, and I feel embarrassed doing it. Paying bills online and shit – jeez. It’s all a massive effort, which is exactly why I’m cancelling all lessons beyond the few I need to give me some human contact and a sense of purpose. I’ve been thinking of those films where someone (usually on their own, but with a cat) ends up living in squalor with piles of unopened red bills and how easy it would be to get like that.

So I watched the snooker this afternoon. John Higgins beat Ronnie O’Sullivan 13-12. A fantastic match and all so improbable: Ronnie made all the early running and led 9-4 and had chances in subsequent frames. At the same time Wu Yize (who was my pick for the tournament before it started) edged past Mark Selby 13-11. My man Mark Williams bowed out. He lost 13-9 to Barry Hawkins. A shame, but Barry is a thoroughly likeable chap, just like most Barrys I’ve met. And gosh, there were some crazy frames in that match, like the one where they spent 15 minutes on just the green, then Williams fluked the pink to win it. They’re just about to start the last session of the second round. Tomorrow the quarter-finals (played over just two days) begin.

Last month O’Sullivan made a 153 break – the highest ever. Bigger than the “maximum” 147. A super-max. Of course it would be him to do it. It takes some very unlikely circumstances to make such a feat even possible. You need a free ball before any reds have been potted – that means being snookered on all 15 reds after your opponent has committed a foul themselves, which is pretty damn rare.

Talking of records, someone – in fact two people – did a sub-two-hour marathon in London yesterday. That milestone was always the big one to go. And now it’s gone.

Scrabble. This time around the league has been a pain in the arse. I feel like I can’t be bothered with it, like everything else. Saying that, I managed to post a 606-295 win in a game just finished, going out with my fifth bingo. It’s only the second time I’ve scored 600 or more. The problem is I’m losing the close games. One of them was against a very experienced Aussie lady who beat me in a high-scoring encounter, 472-454. I haven’t studied any words for a while now, but I will need to get back to that if I have any intention of playing real-life games.

The maths girl came in Louis Vuitton shoes this morning. Yikes. Maybe they’re fake; I wouldn’t be able to tell. Last week it was Hermès, which I said was pronounced air-mess but is actually air-mez. Those ès-ending French words and names are unpredictable in how (or if) the final s is pronounced. Many have a silent s, like après and succès, but others have the s pronounced as either s or z.

Edit: The evening session at the snooker is about to start. You get some crappy walk-on music sometimes, but some great stuff too like the Automatic’s Monster which Chris Wakelin just came on to. In gaps between frames on Romanian TV there’s an ad for Magnum ice cream which (surprisingly) uses Courtney Barnett’s Pedestrian at Best. I’ve always liked her; she’s a unique artist. Some other interesting songs I’ve heard lately are Pic Pic by Romanian band Voltaj and REM’s Supernatural Superserious.

Update: Getting out of bed has become like inching into cold sea water. Once out of bed this morning, I watched bits of the news and struggled to take it in. I didn’t quite get why there was such shock that the shooting suspect at the Trump event was a mechanical engineer with a master’s degree. An intelligent guy would want to do that?

Oh, and the other Trump lost to Iran last night. Hossein Vafaei beat Judd Trump in a deciding 25th frame. I had to switch it off at 11-all. That was a bit of a shock.

Just when I thought I was over it…

I only had one lesson yesterday (from 9 till 10:30 in the morning, with the 25-year-old woman) as the British School kids are still on holiday. And that was just as well: within half an hour of my lesson finishing I had a horrific headache. Pacing, eye shades, lying on the bed, the sofa, ice from the freezer, anything I could do to ease the pain. It didn’t go quickly. At 3pm it eased just a fraction and I tried to eat a bowl of cereal but could only finish half of it. I finally re-entered the world of the living just after four. Conveniently, Mark Williams’ first-round match with Antoni Kowalski started at 4:30. It wasn’t on TV – they had cycling on instead – but I could watch it online. I kept the cycling on (with the sound down) in the background because of the picturesque views of Pontevedra in north-west Spain. The snooker was good. Williams was fortunate to win a protacted second frame and his 6-3 lead at the end of the session flattered him somewhat. They finish their match tonight.

Since then I’ve just been trying to recover and to build up some strength again. This morning – my last morning of being 45 – I sat in the nearby park and read my book. So many dogs. And pigeons. Just two cats. After that I had a Teams call with my aunt and uncle in Geraldine. My uncle, now 84, didn’t talk much, though I had a good chat with my aunt.

Energy desert

I feel a bit better now, but it’s like I’m travelling through an energy desert, both mentally and physically. Friday, for instance, was close to being a write-off. At one stage I was trying to gee myself up for a lesson when my student messaged me with 18 minutes to go. I’m really tired. Can we have the session on Sunday? What about me? And I prefer to keep Sundays free. But as I’d already scheduled a Sunday afternoon maths session with someone else, I agreed to see him at 9am.

On Saturday I had nine hours of lessons (six sessions: three English and three maths). I dragged myself out of bed for an 8:30 start in Dumbrăvița, wondering how I might cope. I stayed almost headache-free, and I survived, even if began to flag during my final maths lesson. I’ve done a lot of teaching by now, and even when I’m below my best I have my own systems and processes (and experience) to fall back on. The highlight of the day was a maths lesson with a girl who had taken a test on volumes and surface areas the day before. Formulas were still clearly visible on her arm. Did they help you in the test? No, it turns out they were wrong.

Sunday. Not Easter Sunday under the Orthodox calendar, but Palm Sunday. My 9am student failed to show up. Ugh. Dorothy had invited me to church (a 10:30 start) and although I’ve become increasingly anti-religion, I reluctantly accepted. Her church is mostly harmless and even benefits people in the community, especially recent arrivals from African countries. There was a huge congregation including a lot of children. The sermon went on, as expected. After the service a young woman of 18 or so was baptised, which at this church meant getting fully (and dramatically) dunked in a swimming pool. Then there was food. Tons of it. Dorothy is heavily involved and was in her element. I wasn’t. We all had to queue up and I found myself in that dreadful situation where someone in front of you talks to someone behind you and you’re stuck. In general there were too many people and I desperately wanted out. At one point someone sang Happy Birthday for one of the kids. “Wow, it’s someone’s birthday,” I heard someone say. With so many people it would have pretty weird if it hadn’t been anyone’s birthday. I’d mentally budgeted to be home by 1:30. I got home ten minutes after that, relieved that I’d be church free for another eight months. Then Mum and Dad called. I kept it very brief. My maths session was coming up and I couldn’t handle conversation with anybody. I had a nap before my lesson which went fine.

Some news from my brother. It looks like he’s got a job at British Aerospace in Portsmouth. Doing what exactly, I don’t know. Getting that degree must have made a huge difference. (These days you’ve got to have the piece of paper.) I expect I’ll talk to him this week and find out more.

I watched the Artemis II launch on Wednesday night. I happened to be awake at 1am, so I got out my laptop and watched it in bed on YouTube. At that point it was still in doubt. It had an eerie feel about it because all I had was the audio from mission control and I kept looking at that rocket, with four astronauts inside, and thinking, this is horrendously complicated. There are many ways that this could go horribly wrong. So far it’s been a success though, and last night they entered the moon’s gravitational sphere of influence, if I’ve got that right. It’s just a real shame that the four occupants of the spacecraft couldn’t have been Trump, Vance, Hegseth and Rubio, on a one-way trip.

I did speak to Mum and Dad properly this morning. We still have no idea whether they’ll make it to Europe. After “Open the fuckin’ strait”, all bets are off. I reminded Dad of a conversation we had immediately after 9/11. Dad talked about how terrible Bush was. No diplomacy, he said. “Smoke ’em out”? How did he ever become president with language like that. Now when they’re bombing a girl’s school to pieces with God on their side, that all seems so tame. There was no social media back then.

Scrabble. Amazingly I didn’t just get promoted in the latest round of the league, I actually won the division. I had ten wins and three losses; the four players behind me all had nine wins. I drew pretty well, it must be said. That result will put me in division three, starting Thursday. To say I’ve exceeded my expectations would be a massive understatement. I’m now going to be facing even more world-class players who know words that I couldn’t even dream of. I’ll have my hands full for sure.

Everything else has flown out the window

I’ve just looked up “chronic fatigue syndrome”. I fit an awful lot of the criteria. The Wikipedia article mentions four levels, as classified by the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) in the UK. This is how the least severe category is described: “People with mild ME/CFS can usually still work and care for themselves, but they will need their free time to recover from these activities rather than engage in social and leisure activities.” That sounds like me right now. Working and caring for myself is possible but a struggle, and everything else just about flies out the window. When you reach the second category you can forget about work, and as for levels three and four, they’re terrifying. There’s a paragraph entitled “unrefreshing sleep”: Even a full night’s sleep is typically non-restorative. That’s absolutely the case for me. What I don’t get is the link between what I’m facing now and the headaches. I’ve been headache-free since late Sunday afternoon. If I stay like that for another 48 hours will I bounce back a bit? And what if I don’t?

On Sunday I saw that film with Dorothy. I felt a bit better then, and walked into town. That took me 35 minutes, the same as normal. Before the film we ate dinner at Berăria 700. Dorothy told me about her packed Sunday, full of social activities which were mostly related to the church. “I don’t think you’d have enjoyed all of that,” she said. I wouldn’t have enjoyed it even if I’d been feeling normal, I said, let alone right now. Then we wandered to Studio to see the film. We saw Primavara, an Italian film set in the early 18th century at an orphanage in Venice. It follows the life of young Cecilia, a talented violinist who just happens to have Vivaldi as her teacher. The real attraction of the film is the music, and because we sat in the second row, we had no trouble hearing it. These revamped cinemas – there are now four of them dotted around the city – have been a real boon. Tickets are inexpensive, the website is fantastic, the cinemas themselves are very well looked after, and most importantly you no longer have to go to a mall to see a movie. Last week though an eleven-year-old boy told me of his bad experience at one of those cinemas. You couldn’t get popcorn! I don’t think you’re the target market. Yesterday Dad told me about the old cinema in St Ives and how he saw Tron there. Tron? I thought it had already closed by then. I found out (from someone’s blog) that the Regal Cinema closed in 1985.

When I got back from the cinema, I called my brother. He mentioned the possibility of fuel rationing in the UK, as happened there in 1973. Power cuts, kids skiving off school to see football matches on weekday afternoons (because obviously they couldn’t play under lights). Maybe people will be told to work from home, Covid-style, my brother said. I also spoke to my sister-in-law who seems better now, after going back to work. It’s always hard talking to her because she’s too far away from my brother’s device to hear her well. After our call, I thought about how Mum must have felt coming off the boat in Southampton in ’73, having come from a land of plenty, and being plunged into that.

Yesterday Dad and I talked about the upcoming Artemis II launch. It took just 66 years to get from the first manned flight of any sort to putting men on the moon, with the aid of computers far less powerful than the ones in everyone’s pockets today. Almost as long has passed since then, and look at us! We agreed that if and when a human walks on Mars, it won’t be the Americans who make it happen. Most likely it’ll be the Chinese. Dad also mentioned Rocket Lab, New Zealand’s space company. It’s pretty incredible that NZ even has one (though I think it’s partly American-owned). Rocket Lab launches off Mahia Peninsula, that little triangular-ish bit that sticks out between Gisborne and Napier.

Mum and Dad seem a lot better now. Having one really good eye all of a sudden has helped Mum immensely. With the ever-changing global situation, nobody knows whether they’ll make it over in May, and that’s OK.

In a lesson last week I had another young woman who, despite being highly intelligent, didn’t know about 9/11. She was born in 2000. I showed her the pictures of that fateful day when she was a baby. Romania wasn’t in the EU at that point, and few people would have had the internet. It didn’t have anything like the impact here that it did in the UK and much of the west. She grew up in a railway house at Cicir (pronounced chee-CHEER: it even sounds like a train’s whistle) just outside Arad. We’ve had a lot of productive sessions since she started in November, but she’s just got a new job. Great for her, but that will make it much harder for us to meet.

I need to stop watching YouTube. I’ve been watching a lot of late, mainly because I’ve had less energy to do anything physical, but it doesn’t help me mentally. Two recent videos I watched were about an ill-advised water slide in Kansas that cost a ten-year-old boy his life in 2016, and Balloonfest, the release of 1.4 million balloons in Cleveland in 1986 that (depending on who you listen to) led to unforeseen circumstances. At the very least, I need to stop watching videos about America.

In a post on 3rd November 2024, just before the last US election, I said how crazy it was that the votes of a few thousand poorly-informed people in Pennsylvania will have a massive impact on billions of us throughout the world. We’re seeing that play out now in devastating fashion.

Scrabble: I’ve drawn well in the latest round of matches and am sitting on four wins and one loss. That defeat was by just four points; I’m still incapable of nutting out an endgame properly. I managed to beat that Romanian guy at my third attempt. I picked both blanks and found a bingo each time. He stormed back with a bingo scoring in the 80s, the board got blocked, and I didn’t particularly fancy my chances until I got down VAPOURS (hooking the A onto the front of JAR) for 97. In the end I won 476-387. There’s a chance I could win promotion but it’s still too early to say.

I want to hibernate until further notice

On the off-chance I do actually get better and this whole month is happily erased from my memory, I’ll leave this here: March 2026 has been absolutely bloody terrible.

I wrote my last post on Tuesday evening following a productive day by my recent standards. Things seemed to be coming right. On Wednesday I drove to Recaș for lunch. It’s a 25-minute drive. This was the place I went to on a sunny day two years ago just after buying the car; I remember how great that felt. Though it was overcast this time, it did feel good to be on the road. Wednesday is barbecue day in Recaș – I think they do it on Saturdays too – and I got a spicy sausage, two mici and chips. That all came to 41 lei – our inflation which has been high for years shows no sign of easing, especially not now. I bought a pair of two-litre bottles (red and white) from the winery, then I quickly headed home for a 1:30 lesson with a young girl – I’d done no preparation. After that I had two lessons, both in the Aradului area. On the way home my front tyre got a puncture – that damn sharp-edged valve hole in the wheel rim cutting the valve. I was lucky I suppose that I got the puncture after my lessons and I had just enough time to walk home before my evening session started. I locked it to the bike rack at a large hardware store two-and-a-bit kilometres from home.

Thursday was a trying day. Mentally it took me ages to get going. Plus I had a headache. I bumbled through my lessons and that was about it. Oh, and I got hopelessly confused when trying to pick up a package from an Easybox. I got to the place, then had to come home empty-handed because my PIN (or whatever) had been sent somewhere I couldn’t locate on my phone. It was a beautiful sunny morning and I didn’t want to be locating any fucking thing on my phone. Just like I wouldn’t have to do if it was 1996. Or even 2006. I sorted it out at home, then went back there to pick it up after my lesson, but jeez. Friday, on the other hand, was surprisingly productive. I did all my lessons, cleaned two rooms including the office which was strewn with paperwork and cat fur, learned a bunch of Scrabble words (or tried to), prepared for the next day’s lessons, and even had a 45-minute chat with Mum and Dad. My energy was back and things were looking up. Then on Saturday – yesterday – I woke up with another headache. It was at a manageable level – a 4 or 5 out of 10 – but still enough to exhaust me. I had no functioning bike and it was tipping it down anyway, so I drove to Dumbrăvița. During maths with Matei, I couldn’t stop yawning. Sorry mate, I’m struggling a bit here. Because Matei has known me for literally half his life, I could get away with functioning well short of capacity. After Matei I had a useful break which I spent in the park. Spending time in the park in the old part of Dumbrăvița relaxes me. Following another maths lesson, it was home time. Just as well: I felt gone.

But I had two jobs to do on the way home: wash the car and pick up the bike. Sounds simple enough, right? Er, no. Once I’d found my car wash card I put it in the slot of the big central machine, then inserted a 10-lei note. Nothing happened. Isn’t it supposed to spit out tokens? Suddenly I heard “Come here.” Cut out the English, would you? So I take it you understand how this thing works. “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?” At least he was speaking Romanian now. How come you do? How come anyone does? How come you aren’t all finding life so fucking impossibly hard like me? I think they’d stopped the token thing. Or maybe the token thing and the card thing were now either/or. I really don’t know. Or particularly care. I did get the car washed and rinsed and it was off to the hardware store where I’d left my bike. It was still there. I’d managed to get it in the car before without removing the wheel, but this time I simply didn’t have the strength. I shouted at the top of my voice in a busy car park on a Saturday afternoon, not caring that dozens of customers could hear me. I’d lost control of myself. A man turned around and helped me get the front wheel off, which is what I would have done myself if I’d been thinking at all clearly. The wheel would have needed to come off anyway. “Thank you, and sorry. I’m actually quite ill at the moment.”

I got home, unpacked all my teaching stuff, and took the bike up to my flat. Phew. It’s now 4:15 pm on Sunday. The clocks went forward last night. I’ve only just got rid of yet another headache and I feel beyond washed out. I’m seeing Dorothy a bit later for dinner and a film at the Studio cinema. I have no idea what the film is, but I know that meeting somebody is probably a good idea, even though all I want to do is curl up into a ball.